Do you postulate?
Now before you slap my face for being rude, let me explain:
Postulate: to assume, assert or decide something is true; a prediction. For example, if you are sure you will exercise today, you postulate that you will exercise today. If you expect someone will succeed, you are postulating their success.
What do you postulate for others?
Think of someone at your work. What do you hope or postulate for him or her? Do you hope he or she will succeed? Fail? Stay out of your way? Do just a little worse than you?
When someone accidentally upsets you, what do you postulate for them? For example, while driving down the road a car cuts in front of you, scares you and makes you slam on your brakes. What do you postulate? Do you hope the driver has a rotten day? That the driver gets a speeding ticket?
When you look at strangers in a store, what do you think of them? What do you postulate? For example, when you see an overweight person, do you think, "What a lazy slob. I expect he will never be successful." Or do you think, "I hope he does well in life."
If you see a teenager covered with tattoos, what do you think? "She coordinates her tattoo colors with her shoes very nicely. She'll go far." Or maybe you think, "What a slut! She'll end up in jail."
What you may not know is that the postulates you have for others affect you.
I believe this is a quote from Ghandi:-
"Sit down at a public place where many people are passing by and simply postulate into them, above them, around them, perfection -- no matter what you see. Do this person after person as they walk by you or around you, doing it quietly and to yourself."
"This is simply a demonstration of a fact that he who lives believing wrong of all his fellow men lives, himself, in hell.
"The only difference between paradise on Earth and hell on Earth is whether or not you believe your fellow man worthy of receiving your friendship and devotion."
Does life seem like paradise or hell to you? If it's a little hellish at times, do you believe your fellow human beings deserve your friendship?
Take some time today and postulate perfection for others. Decide they are wonderful and perfect, just as they are. Look at them and expect they will succeed.
Try it with the people you know as well. Make a decision that your family members will all be happy and healthy. Postulate perfection into your friends and coworkers. Just decide.
Give it a try today. Give everyone around you a gift -- your postulate for their perfection.
If, as a result, life becomes more of a paradise for you, make this into a habit and you'll live in paradise every day!
In a stressfull, busy but ultimately magic time of the year, it seems good advice to me.
After my Postulations, I have been cogitating again. I think I need stronger tablets!!
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know we're already out of money?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the Fridge with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag ever opens from the end you try first?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping trolley then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Monday, December 24, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
A topical Gag
A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man asked, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's raining, of course," he answered, and walked on.
But the woman insisted, "I know that felt like snow!"
To which the man replied, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Go on admit it you laughed!!!
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man asked, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's raining, of course," he answered, and walked on.
But the woman insisted, "I know that felt like snow!"
To which the man replied, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Go on admit it you laughed!!!
Musings
I bought a teddy bear for £10.00 and called it Mohammed, I then sold it for £20.
The question is have I made a prophet?
Do you think the Queen ever pulled her bed covers up, so just her heads showing and said, “Look at me Phillip, I’m a stamp”?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If a shop is open 24-hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how does TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is it, when you take out insurance, you find the thing you want to insure against is always excluded?
The question is have I made a prophet?
Do you think the Queen ever pulled her bed covers up, so just her heads showing and said, “Look at me Phillip, I’m a stamp”?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If a shop is open 24-hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how does TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is it, when you take out insurance, you find the thing you want to insure against is always excluded?
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
xmas survival
Well as many of us prepare for the festive season, I feel it's my duty to inform you of some serious news. The average person will gain six pounds in weight over a ten day period. (I'm not quite sure of the figures, if you're not an average person!)
That's the bad news
However, I was reliably informed that the following advice will help us deal with our weighty issues
If you fatten up everyone else around you, you'll look thinner
If you have a diet drink with chocolate, the calories in the chocolate are cancelled out by the diet drink
Remember, foods with similar colouring have the same calories e.g. turkey and white chocolate
Hey if you still gain weight - don't blame me!
I've just read that £2.1 billion is expected to be put on credit cards this xmas.I'm not worried, my wife has had plastic surgery, I've cut hers up!!
Feeling Rough Over The Festive Season?
Be assured that no matter how awful you may look, or rough you may feel, you will never look as bad as you do in your passport photo!
With a week to go, people are starting to panic. I "nipped" in our local supermarket last night and saw 2 cases of road rage on the car park. I dunno what all the fuss is about, the shops are open on Boxing Day, cause they are scared they may have left you with a bit of money in your pocket!!
Any way in multicultural Britain, there's always a corner shop run by, shall we say, "an non christian denomination".
The best time at Christmas is @ 8-00pm Xmas Eve- the shops are shut and the light of my darkness can't send me on a wild goose chase for some exotic ingredient -( Dam you Nigella, Delia Jamie and all the other celeb chefs). A medicinal snifter and I can face the upcoming family meal with fortitude
As usual it will be a very traditional Christmas, with presents, crackers, door slamming and people bursting into tears
And finally
I realise people approach Christmas with different hopes and expectations. For me it's about football, food, faith ........................ er and family (Not necessarily in that order!) I appreciate it may be very different for you. But however you celebrate (if indeed you do) and whatever it's significance, I wish you moments of meaning, laughter and peace -
Remember the reason for the season
That's the bad news
However, I was reliably informed that the following advice will help us deal with our weighty issues
If you fatten up everyone else around you, you'll look thinner
If you have a diet drink with chocolate, the calories in the chocolate are cancelled out by the diet drink
Remember, foods with similar colouring have the same calories e.g. turkey and white chocolate
Hey if you still gain weight - don't blame me!
I've just read that £2.1 billion is expected to be put on credit cards this xmas.I'm not worried, my wife has had plastic surgery, I've cut hers up!!
Feeling Rough Over The Festive Season?
Be assured that no matter how awful you may look, or rough you may feel, you will never look as bad as you do in your passport photo!
With a week to go, people are starting to panic. I "nipped" in our local supermarket last night and saw 2 cases of road rage on the car park. I dunno what all the fuss is about, the shops are open on Boxing Day, cause they are scared they may have left you with a bit of money in your pocket!!
Any way in multicultural Britain, there's always a corner shop run by, shall we say, "an non christian denomination".
The best time at Christmas is @ 8-00pm Xmas Eve- the shops are shut and the light of my darkness can't send me on a wild goose chase for some exotic ingredient -( Dam you Nigella, Delia Jamie and all the other celeb chefs). A medicinal snifter and I can face the upcoming family meal with fortitude
As usual it will be a very traditional Christmas, with presents, crackers, door slamming and people bursting into tears
And finally
I realise people approach Christmas with different hopes and expectations. For me it's about football, food, faith ........................ er and family (Not necessarily in that order!) I appreciate it may be very different for you. But however you celebrate (if indeed you do) and whatever it's significance, I wish you moments of meaning, laughter and peace -
Remember the reason for the season
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Oh For Simplicity
Is it me or is nothing ever simple? The reason I ask is the pantomime that is my insurance claim. I won't say who the company is at the moment, in fairness, to give them a chance to redeem themselves, but let's just say you would think they would be based in Norfolk ( As in Norfolk 'n'good - say it out loud- you'll get the idea )
Apparently different departments need to communicate, and this is causing a hold up. Amazing innit? if I owed them money the company intranet, mobile phones and computers would be whizzing. They owe me money and it's 2 tins of marvel joined by a bit of string, or a carrier pigeon (that has yet to be bred) or the flamin' pony express.
As for the valuation for the claim, you'd think I was trying to claim for the crown jewels.
Up to yet I have made 10 phone calls, gone through the details on every call, and still they have not got a complete list of my belongings that were stolen. Without being xenophobic, it would help if the people I speak to spoke more than rudimentary grasp of English.One of the "advisors" told me I was claiming for a sinking ship?? I told him the only ship I'd sunk was in my bath
I have called 5 different departments, and have now taped my story onto my dictaphone ( although I usually use my finger to phone- boom-boom) The worrying thing is, my company has my Health Insurance with these idiots- God help me if I go in Hospital to have my tonsils out- they,ll probably turn the trolley round and leave me without a sausage
When I do get through to an English speaker, I just seem to be fobbed off, after a wait that has the chairman of BT booking his next Foreign jaunt for him and his Hareem on the proceeds.
(What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? -£3.99 a minute. )
Norwich Union you are Like My A**E
With any luck my claim will be settled by the New Year - 2010 maybe?
I need a laugh so here's a joke for today:
Every day a man walks up to one of his female colleagues while she’s at the coffee machine, inhales a massive breath of air and says “mmm , your hair smells really nice”. After a week, she complains to personnel, and puts in a sexual harrassment complaint. The personnel manager says “Whats wrong with that ,it’s a compliment?”
She replies “it’s John the dwarf”
Apparently different departments need to communicate, and this is causing a hold up. Amazing innit? if I owed them money the company intranet, mobile phones and computers would be whizzing. They owe me money and it's 2 tins of marvel joined by a bit of string, or a carrier pigeon (that has yet to be bred) or the flamin' pony express.
As for the valuation for the claim, you'd think I was trying to claim for the crown jewels.
Up to yet I have made 10 phone calls, gone through the details on every call, and still they have not got a complete list of my belongings that were stolen. Without being xenophobic, it would help if the people I speak to spoke more than rudimentary grasp of English.One of the "advisors" told me I was claiming for a sinking ship?? I told him the only ship I'd sunk was in my bath
I have called 5 different departments, and have now taped my story onto my dictaphone ( although I usually use my finger to phone- boom-boom) The worrying thing is, my company has my Health Insurance with these idiots- God help me if I go in Hospital to have my tonsils out- they,ll probably turn the trolley round and leave me without a sausage
When I do get through to an English speaker, I just seem to be fobbed off, after a wait that has the chairman of BT booking his next Foreign jaunt for him and his Hareem on the proceeds.
(What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? -£3.99 a minute. )
Norwich Union you are Like My A**E
With any luck my claim will be settled by the New Year - 2010 maybe?
I need a laugh so here's a joke for today:
Every day a man walks up to one of his female colleagues while she’s at the coffee machine, inhales a massive breath of air and says “mmm , your hair smells really nice”. After a week, she complains to personnel, and puts in a sexual harrassment complaint. The personnel manager says “Whats wrong with that ,it’s a compliment?”
She replies “it’s John the dwarf”
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Questions to ask yourself
Recieved this in an e-mail from Peter Thomson of TGI Mondays I think it's quite relevant at this time of year:
Another 12 months has slipped by and as you and I look back over the last year it makes sense to think about what happened
Here are some to consider:
1. Is there anything I would do differently?
2. Is there anything I would repeat?
3. Is there anything I’ll avoid doing in future?
4. If I could have the whole year again – what would I change?
5. Is there anything I wish I had done?
6. Is there anything I wish I hadn’t done?
7. Is there an apology still unsaid?
8. Is there a goal still (as yet) unreached?
9. Is there an ‘I love you!’ to be repeated?
10. Is there a ‘thank you’ to be spoken?
11. Is there a celebration not yet celebrated?
12. Is there some more ‘me time’ to be booked?
13. Is there some more ‘them time’ to be booked?
14. Is there an achievement to be recalled with joy?
15. Is there a smile to be re-smiled?
16. Is there a hurdle still to be hurdled?
17. Is there a door still to be opened?
18. Is there a promise still to be kept?
19. Is there a goal that’s needs writing?
20. Is there an exposure that needs to be reduced?
21. Is there a skill to be learned?
22. Is there a book to be read?
23. Is there something to forget?
24. Is there a year to be remembered?
Would it be worthwhile taking just a few moments to answer them?
Another 12 months has slipped by and as you and I look back over the last year it makes sense to think about what happened
Here are some to consider:
1. Is there anything I would do differently?
2. Is there anything I would repeat?
3. Is there anything I’ll avoid doing in future?
4. If I could have the whole year again – what would I change?
5. Is there anything I wish I had done?
6. Is there anything I wish I hadn’t done?
7. Is there an apology still unsaid?
8. Is there a goal still (as yet) unreached?
9. Is there an ‘I love you!’ to be repeated?
10. Is there a ‘thank you’ to be spoken?
11. Is there a celebration not yet celebrated?
12. Is there some more ‘me time’ to be booked?
13. Is there some more ‘them time’ to be booked?
14. Is there an achievement to be recalled with joy?
15. Is there a smile to be re-smiled?
16. Is there a hurdle still to be hurdled?
17. Is there a door still to be opened?
18. Is there a promise still to be kept?
19. Is there a goal that’s needs writing?
20. Is there an exposure that needs to be reduced?
21. Is there a skill to be learned?
22. Is there a book to be read?
23. Is there something to forget?
24. Is there a year to be remembered?
Would it be worthwhile taking just a few moments to answer them?
Tussle with a black cat??
I'm beginning to wonder if i've run over a black cat! What a bloomin' week I've had, and it's only Tuesday.Last Thursday my roof sagged quite badly, so I call in a builder, who tells me- with the obligatory sharp intake of breath- he doesn't know how its holding up. Basically I need a complete new roof, and sharpish. Obviously not covered by Insurance, so he proceeds to quote me a price, but having a brother in the building game, I call him who get's someone he knows to come round and quotes me a price half of the previous one. Obviously he get's the nod , and that's now in hand.
Friday night, the in-laws come round, have a bite to eat, then proceed to switch channels between I'm a celebrity, and dancing with the stars finals, whilst proceeding to talk all the time, so no peace there then ( What's the difference between outlaws and in laws? out laws are wanted!!)
Saturday , the light of my darkness goes shopping and keeps the economy going single handed
Sunday we go to Cheshire oaks- an outlet village- cause I've got a fiver left in my wallet, and the sunshine of my life doesn't want to "miss the bargains" !! I jest slightly, but you get the general idea.
We're out all day, stop for a lovely late Sunday dinner, visit my dad and get home @ 9-00. I open the front door to find letters strewn across the floor and my lap-top and my son's ps2 game console missing, we've been burgled.
However looking on the bright side, they basically went through the house , picked up what they could and legged it. Not a bad haul though :
A lap top
Digital camera
game console
@ 20 dvd's
My brand new bottle of Lacoste aftershave- you know the one where the nude man runs around-(get's the missus going that one)
a handbag (with keys)
a couple of jewelry boxes- with a lot of sentimental things in from Jackies 21st birthday and from my late mother.
my sons wallett- no money in as normal!!
If I didn't laugh I'd cry, but luckily I'm insured, I had a couple of spare locks around the house, so changing them was a breeze, and they only slightly damaged a window to gain entry, which is covered by insurance. It could have been a whole lot worse. Still made us very jittery though, the feeling that some scumbag has been rummaging around is not nice.
I had to laugh when my missus asked if there were any sexy pictures of her on the computer, I replied if there were she was in trouble as she'd never posed for me!!
Any way I took yesterday off work-thanks to an understanding boss- to sort stuff out. Went back in today and dropped Jackie off at work, then promptly ran over a cyclist as I pulled out of her works carpark.
Luckily he wasnt injured, no damage to my car- just a buckled wheel on his bike, so thankfully no major harm done.
I feel like Ben Miller in "The worst week of my life"
Friday night, the in-laws come round, have a bite to eat, then proceed to switch channels between I'm a celebrity, and dancing with the stars finals, whilst proceeding to talk all the time, so no peace there then ( What's the difference between outlaws and in laws? out laws are wanted!!)
Saturday , the light of my darkness goes shopping and keeps the economy going single handed
Sunday we go to Cheshire oaks- an outlet village- cause I've got a fiver left in my wallet, and the sunshine of my life doesn't want to "miss the bargains" !! I jest slightly, but you get the general idea.
We're out all day, stop for a lovely late Sunday dinner, visit my dad and get home @ 9-00. I open the front door to find letters strewn across the floor and my lap-top and my son's ps2 game console missing, we've been burgled.
However looking on the bright side, they basically went through the house , picked up what they could and legged it. Not a bad haul though :
A lap top
Digital camera
game console
@ 20 dvd's
My brand new bottle of Lacoste aftershave- you know the one where the nude man runs around-(get's the missus going that one)
a handbag (with keys)
a couple of jewelry boxes- with a lot of sentimental things in from Jackies 21st birthday and from my late mother.
my sons wallett- no money in as normal!!
If I didn't laugh I'd cry, but luckily I'm insured, I had a couple of spare locks around the house, so changing them was a breeze, and they only slightly damaged a window to gain entry, which is covered by insurance. It could have been a whole lot worse. Still made us very jittery though, the feeling that some scumbag has been rummaging around is not nice.
I had to laugh when my missus asked if there were any sexy pictures of her on the computer, I replied if there were she was in trouble as she'd never posed for me!!
Any way I took yesterday off work-thanks to an understanding boss- to sort stuff out. Went back in today and dropped Jackie off at work, then promptly ran over a cyclist as I pulled out of her works carpark.
Luckily he wasnt injured, no damage to my car- just a buckled wheel on his bike, so thankfully no major harm done.
I feel like Ben Miller in "The worst week of my life"
Friday, December 07, 2007
Sitting Duck?
Victoria Beckham has never been "that good at anything," she says.
"It became very obvious from the start that I was never going to be the best singer or the best dancer or the best actress," the 33-year-old Spice Girl and wife of soccer superstar David Beckham tells Elle magazine's US edition for its January issue.
"You know, I've never been that good at anything, to be completely honest."
( Taken her long enough to find out hasn't it?)
On the contrary, she is a natural when it comes to keeping herself in the media spotlight, from her cutting-edge haircut to her high-profile marriage.
"I'm so camp! I'm such a gay man trying to get out," she says. "I don't give a (bleep) what anybody thinks."
The Beckhams and their three young sons moved to Los Angeles this summer when her husband signed to play with the Los Angeles Galaxy.
"I'm very proud to be British, but here it's a lot more relaxed," she says. "It's the happiest as a family that we've ever been. I just love America."
She is now on tour with the newly reunited Spice Girls.
"I wanted my children to see that Mummy was a pop star," she says.
"It was the last opportunity for them to stand in a crowd full of people screaming for the Spice Girls."
The phrase "Shooting fish in a barrel comes to mind here, don't you think?
"It became very obvious from the start that I was never going to be the best singer or the best dancer or the best actress," the 33-year-old Spice Girl and wife of soccer superstar David Beckham tells Elle magazine's US edition for its January issue.
"You know, I've never been that good at anything, to be completely honest."
( Taken her long enough to find out hasn't it?)
On the contrary, she is a natural when it comes to keeping herself in the media spotlight, from her cutting-edge haircut to her high-profile marriage.
"I'm so camp! I'm such a gay man trying to get out," she says. "I don't give a (bleep) what anybody thinks."
The Beckhams and their three young sons moved to Los Angeles this summer when her husband signed to play with the Los Angeles Galaxy.
"I'm very proud to be British, but here it's a lot more relaxed," she says. "It's the happiest as a family that we've ever been. I just love America."
She is now on tour with the newly reunited Spice Girls.
"I wanted my children to see that Mummy was a pop star," she says.
"It was the last opportunity for them to stand in a crowd full of people screaming for the Spice Girls."
The phrase "Shooting fish in a barrel comes to mind here, don't you think?
Absorb what is useful (Guest Blog)
Absorb what is useful (Guest Blog)
Guest Blog from Senior RKC David Whitley:
Bruce Lee is often quoted as saying "Absorb what is useful".
But what does that mean exactly?
First of all, do not mistake this with "collect what you think is cool." or "do what you like". Absorb means absorb, not look at, read about or play with. It takes a LOT of effort to absorb something. It requires study, discipline and patience.
Let's look at the ENTIRE quote: "Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is uniquely your own."
Here is how I make it work for me.
1. Decide what you want to do.
2. Find someone who is accomplished at what you want to do. Do what they did. Copy them until you get results.
3. Fine tune your approach as you figure out WHY it works and can explain it clearly and concisely. It is only at this point have you truly begun to "absorb" the material.
4. Continue to refine your behavior to match your goal, elimnating anything that is counterproductive or non-essential.
4. Learn to create variations based on your true understanding and knowledge of self. This is harder than it sounds. It requires an honesty of self that is so uncomfortable for most people that they give up.
5. Innovate. Make it your own. Completely your own.
Find something useful in this. Absorb it. Take action.
Guest Blog from Senior RKC David Whitley:
Bruce Lee is often quoted as saying "Absorb what is useful".
But what does that mean exactly?
First of all, do not mistake this with "collect what you think is cool." or "do what you like". Absorb means absorb, not look at, read about or play with. It takes a LOT of effort to absorb something. It requires study, discipline and patience.
Let's look at the ENTIRE quote: "Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is uniquely your own."
Here is how I make it work for me.
1. Decide what you want to do.
2. Find someone who is accomplished at what you want to do. Do what they did. Copy them until you get results.
3. Fine tune your approach as you figure out WHY it works and can explain it clearly and concisely. It is only at this point have you truly begun to "absorb" the material.
4. Continue to refine your behavior to match your goal, elimnating anything that is counterproductive or non-essential.
4. Learn to create variations based on your true understanding and knowledge of self. This is harder than it sounds. It requires an honesty of self that is so uncomfortable for most people that they give up.
5. Innovate. Make it your own. Completely your own.
Find something useful in this. Absorb it. Take action.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Goal Setting
I love reading Alwyn Cosgrove's website, mostly because I always learn something new.He has another good article you should read in advance of January.
Read Alwyn's Goal Setting Article HERE
I believe in goal setting.From spiritual to family, performance to career, you should set goals to guide your improvement in every aspect of life.
Go read Alwyn's take on goal setting, and get started so you are ready for the best year of your life in 2008,
Read Alwyn's Goal Setting Article HERE
I believe in goal setting.From spiritual to family, performance to career, you should set goals to guide your improvement in every aspect of life.
Go read Alwyn's take on goal setting, and get started so you are ready for the best year of your life in 2008,
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
A Nice Sideline
If you have your own website - and in my view every writer should - here's an opportunity to earn a little extra from it.This opportunity, Money4Banners, does not require any financial outlay. Rather, you are required to place three small advertising banners on three different pages of your website. In practice that just means copying and pasting a bit of code supplied by Money4Banners into your website HTMl.Assuming your site is approved - and it almost certainly will be - you will then receive a fee of 10 UK pounds ($20 US) on acceptance, and 5 UK pounds ($10 US) every month for as long as you keep the ads running. Payments can be taken either in cash (via Paypal) or in Amazon vouchers.I admit five pounds a month might not sound a fortune, but that's 60 pounds a year, every year, that you wouldn't otherwise have.In my case that's @ 4-5 free books a year from Amazon, basically for nothing.In the words of Derek Trotter - "You know it makes sense".
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Something to think about
The following is something to ponder…
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a
roof over your head and a place to sleep… you are richer than
75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, spare change in a dish someplace… you are among the top 8% of the wealthy.
If you woke up with more health than illness… you are more
blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the
loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation… you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death… you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.
If your parents are still alive and still married you are very
rare, even in Britain.
If you hold your head up high, with a smile on your face and are truly thankful… you are truly blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can, hold someone’s hand, hug them, or even touch them on the shoulder… because you can offer a healing touch.
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
As you read this and are reminded how life is in the rest of the world, remember just how blessed you really are!
Author unknown
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a
roof over your head and a place to sleep… you are richer than
75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, spare change in a dish someplace… you are among the top 8% of the wealthy.
If you woke up with more health than illness… you are more
blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the
loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation… you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death… you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.
If your parents are still alive and still married you are very
rare, even in Britain.
If you hold your head up high, with a smile on your face and are truly thankful… you are truly blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can, hold someone’s hand, hug them, or even touch them on the shoulder… because you can offer a healing touch.
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
As you read this and are reminded how life is in the rest of the world, remember just how blessed you really are!
Author unknown
Thursday, November 22, 2007
A black Day for English Football
Well, what a farce.England have failed to qualify for a major tournament for the first time since 1994.I believe it is a combination of things:
Lack of interest/investment at grass roots level
The huge influx of foriegn players in the premier league.In October a survey was taken on teams in the premiership, 175 players were "of foriegn extraction" 75 were English
Too many games played
Too much emphasis on the champions league and the colossal amounts of money generated in that competition.
Lack of direction in the management team
Lack of available days for preparation, and in some cases preparing foolishly eg the "Friendly" in Austria on Friday.
I don't begrudge the players the money they earn, no -one would turn around and say pay me less,however it really gets to me when there is a lack of passion pride and commitment when they play for the national side.
Where do we go from here? upwards hopefully
Lack of interest/investment at grass roots level
The huge influx of foriegn players in the premier league.In October a survey was taken on teams in the premiership, 175 players were "of foriegn extraction" 75 were English
Too many games played
Too much emphasis on the champions league and the colossal amounts of money generated in that competition.
Lack of direction in the management team
Lack of available days for preparation, and in some cases preparing foolishly eg the "Friendly" in Austria on Friday.
I don't begrudge the players the money they earn, no -one would turn around and say pay me less,however it really gets to me when there is a lack of passion pride and commitment when they play for the national side.
Where do we go from here? upwards hopefully
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Is this the worst invention ever?
Just been reading about a new alarm clock called Clocky,developed by some students at MIT, the American Engineering University. Basically when the time comes, it shrieks, jumps off your night stand and starts running around the room making R2D2 noises.
The idea is that you have to get up to turn it off. On the positive side of things, it will make you get up and move around a bit so you’ll be awake. On the negative side, it may put you in a very bad mood. I heard that someone was designing something similar that would fly above your bed until you swat it down. Waking up to a giant electronic insect isn’t my idea of waking up right.
A small two wheeled robot running around the floor sounds only marginally better, but I suppose if it gets you out of bed on time, it might be well worth any annoyance. Missing important meetings is probably going to put you in a worse mood than a run around your bedroom first thing in the morning. Only in America!!
I'd take a baseball bat to bed, and first time the thing started running around my boudoir, I'd bat the thing through the window.
Talking of getting up, I've had a terrible morning. I put my shirt on, a button fell off. Fastened my shoes, a lace broke! Picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off. I haven't dared go toilet!!!
The idea is that you have to get up to turn it off. On the positive side of things, it will make you get up and move around a bit so you’ll be awake. On the negative side, it may put you in a very bad mood. I heard that someone was designing something similar that would fly above your bed until you swat it down. Waking up to a giant electronic insect isn’t my idea of waking up right.
A small two wheeled robot running around the floor sounds only marginally better, but I suppose if it gets you out of bed on time, it might be well worth any annoyance. Missing important meetings is probably going to put you in a worse mood than a run around your bedroom first thing in the morning. Only in America!!
I'd take a baseball bat to bed, and first time the thing started running around my boudoir, I'd bat the thing through the window.
Talking of getting up, I've had a terrible morning. I put my shirt on, a button fell off. Fastened my shoes, a lace broke! Picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off. I haven't dared go toilet!!!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Is it possible?
Everyone knows spot reduction is impossible, right?
Well, guess again!
One of Australia’s top fat loss researchers published a study showing that interval training burns belly fat specifically. So if you are looking to lose inches from your waist, you have to add interval training to your workout program. Fortunately, you can drop the slow cardio, add intervals, and still save time from your workouts. Here’s why.
The Australian study compared a 20-minute interval training workout (done 3x’s per week) against a 40-minute slow cardio workout (also done 3x’s per week). Women did the workout for 15 weeks, and only the interval group lost belly fat. The cardio group got practically no results at all.
So spot reduction is possible, as long as you don’t expect slow cardio or endless crunches to do the trick. Instead, you need to use interval training. According to Professor Steve Boucher, the Australian co-author of the latest interval training study to show intervals work better than slow cardio, “high intensity intermittent exercise may result in greater fat loss in the abdomen”.
Basically, interval training burns stomach fat first, over all other sources of fat on the body.
Now we all have heard that spot reduction doesn’t work. If you haven’t, here is the story. For some reason, many people think that by doing tons of crunches, they will burn stomach fat. Unfortunately, that just isn’t true.
In fact, Boucher quotes the following example…
“…researchers have examined the fat content of elite tennis players’ racket arm. The logic here is that if a tennis player uses his racket arm much more than his other arm then the fat content should be less. Racket arms of tennis players usually possess greater muscle and bone mass but similar fat levels.”
So here’s the odd thing about Boucher’s theory…Notice that he’s not claiming sprint interval training done on a bike will burn more fat around your legs. Instead, he’s claiming that interval work done by your legs will lead to a spot reduction of fat from around the belly. Completely backwards to what the beginner exerciser thinks. Boucher also says this interval program will work really well in men with lots of abdominal fat – so its not just for women.
So why do the intervals work so well?
Boucher believes it has something to do with the increase in hormones called “catecholamines” (adrenaline is a catecholamine hormone). These increase after intervals, but not after slow cardio.
Catecholamines are a fat burning hormone and there are a lot of catecholamine receptors in belly fat … so he seems to think the elevated fat burning hormones from intervals ends up leading to targeted belly fat burning.
Interesting theory … we’ll see if they do more research and are able to confirm that belly fat burning hypothesis. Regardless, its great to see studies showing intervals to be more effective for losing stomach fat than slow cardio workouts.
Surprisingly, Boucher recommends stationary cycling as one of the best ways to burn fat with intervals. I know, and research shows that using both resistance training and interval burns more fat than slow cardio workouts.
Boucher also recommends a Mediterranean diet (lots of fruits and vegetables)
So there you go … Turbulence Training years ahead of this study, but supported by the latest scientific research and the expert’s hypothesis. And don’t forget, Boucher and his group didn’t even throw in the Turbulence Training resistance training exercises … that probably would have resulted in even more belly fat burning and loss of stomach fat.
So forget about hour-long stationary cycling workouts when you can get the same or more fat-burning benefits in 20 minutes. Exercise intensity is the most important factor determining post-exercise energy expenditure and fat loss success!
After a 5-minute warm-up, follow this sample beginner’s protocol:
• Start at 15 seconds of intense effort (90% of your maximal pace).
• Follow that with “active rest” (~30% of your maximal pace) for 2 min.
• Perform 3-6 intervals.
• Finish with 5 minutes (or longer) of moderate intensity exercise.
As you become more advanced and accustomed to intervals, progress to:
• Increase your intensity to 95-98% of maximal pace (always hold a little back).
• 30- to 60-second intervals with only 30- to 60-seconds active rest.
• Try to keep your active rest the same length or longer than your work interval.
• Perform 6-12 intervals per session.
• Finish with 5 minutes (or longer) of moderate intensity exercise.
Interval training is the best cardio to burn belly fat and help with spot reduction of stomach fat over your ab muscles.
Well, guess again!
One of Australia’s top fat loss researchers published a study showing that interval training burns belly fat specifically. So if you are looking to lose inches from your waist, you have to add interval training to your workout program. Fortunately, you can drop the slow cardio, add intervals, and still save time from your workouts. Here’s why.
The Australian study compared a 20-minute interval training workout (done 3x’s per week) against a 40-minute slow cardio workout (also done 3x’s per week). Women did the workout for 15 weeks, and only the interval group lost belly fat. The cardio group got practically no results at all.
So spot reduction is possible, as long as you don’t expect slow cardio or endless crunches to do the trick. Instead, you need to use interval training. According to Professor Steve Boucher, the Australian co-author of the latest interval training study to show intervals work better than slow cardio, “high intensity intermittent exercise may result in greater fat loss in the abdomen”.
Basically, interval training burns stomach fat first, over all other sources of fat on the body.
Now we all have heard that spot reduction doesn’t work. If you haven’t, here is the story. For some reason, many people think that by doing tons of crunches, they will burn stomach fat. Unfortunately, that just isn’t true.
In fact, Boucher quotes the following example…
“…researchers have examined the fat content of elite tennis players’ racket arm. The logic here is that if a tennis player uses his racket arm much more than his other arm then the fat content should be less. Racket arms of tennis players usually possess greater muscle and bone mass but similar fat levels.”
So here’s the odd thing about Boucher’s theory…Notice that he’s not claiming sprint interval training done on a bike will burn more fat around your legs. Instead, he’s claiming that interval work done by your legs will lead to a spot reduction of fat from around the belly. Completely backwards to what the beginner exerciser thinks. Boucher also says this interval program will work really well in men with lots of abdominal fat – so its not just for women.
So why do the intervals work so well?
Boucher believes it has something to do with the increase in hormones called “catecholamines” (adrenaline is a catecholamine hormone). These increase after intervals, but not after slow cardio.
Catecholamines are a fat burning hormone and there are a lot of catecholamine receptors in belly fat … so he seems to think the elevated fat burning hormones from intervals ends up leading to targeted belly fat burning.
Interesting theory … we’ll see if they do more research and are able to confirm that belly fat burning hypothesis. Regardless, its great to see studies showing intervals to be more effective for losing stomach fat than slow cardio workouts.
Surprisingly, Boucher recommends stationary cycling as one of the best ways to burn fat with intervals. I know, and research shows that using both resistance training and interval burns more fat than slow cardio workouts.
Boucher also recommends a Mediterranean diet (lots of fruits and vegetables)
So there you go … Turbulence Training years ahead of this study, but supported by the latest scientific research and the expert’s hypothesis. And don’t forget, Boucher and his group didn’t even throw in the Turbulence Training resistance training exercises … that probably would have resulted in even more belly fat burning and loss of stomach fat.
So forget about hour-long stationary cycling workouts when you can get the same or more fat-burning benefits in 20 minutes. Exercise intensity is the most important factor determining post-exercise energy expenditure and fat loss success!
After a 5-minute warm-up, follow this sample beginner’s protocol:
• Start at 15 seconds of intense effort (90% of your maximal pace).
• Follow that with “active rest” (~30% of your maximal pace) for 2 min.
• Perform 3-6 intervals.
• Finish with 5 minutes (or longer) of moderate intensity exercise.
As you become more advanced and accustomed to intervals, progress to:
• Increase your intensity to 95-98% of maximal pace (always hold a little back).
• 30- to 60-second intervals with only 30- to 60-seconds active rest.
• Try to keep your active rest the same length or longer than your work interval.
• Perform 6-12 intervals per session.
• Finish with 5 minutes (or longer) of moderate intensity exercise.
Interval training is the best cardio to burn belly fat and help with spot reduction of stomach fat over your ab muscles.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Sartorial Elegance and Me
I am a confused man tonight! Just been sort of watching Trinny and Susannah, I really should have paid more attention.From what I understand, they want to smarten up the British male. Now I don't mind shopping to a certain extent, although my wife,the light of my darkness, could turn it into an Olympic event. I must have a masochist streak in me, because I'm not the standard shape.
I have a 20" neck, 54" chest and a 46" waist,so jackets off the peg are rarer than rocking horse poo, and usually if they fit in the chest, the arms are way too long.It was nice when I was in America, as only being xxl shirt, I was almost anorexic. I always say I am Bulimic amnesiac, I binge but forget to throw up. I've taken medical advice, the doctor asked if my size is down to drink, but I told him it was because of my feet. I can't keep'em out of the pantry!!
I also went for liposuction, but it was on blow instead of suck
Anyway Trinny (way too thin if you ask me, get a good tater dinner down you girl)and Susannah,(just how a woman should be, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for breaking wind!!) reckon there are 6 male types, i.e.
1) Thick neck (see above) Wear Big deep collars/v neck jumpers/unbuttoned shirts/scarves/ goatees
2) Man boobs - wear prints,not plain,vertical stripes on shirts/vertical layering/pockets on shirts
3) Beer Belly ( not beer in my case, but you get the idea) Wear loose t shirt/low waist jeans/dark t shirt under a light top/scarves/one colour top & jeans
4) Short legs ( forgot to mention, 5tft 10" with a 29" inside leg) Wear all one colour/layered tops/flat top shoes/shoe and trouser colour to match/vertical stripes
5) Skinny - Wear short sleeve shirts/ skinny jeans/suit jackets
6) Top heavy (see above) Wear boot leg trousers/long scarves/fitted 2 button jackets/small pattern shirts/t shirts
Talk about feeling a freak,I'm now looking for a big collared shirt that is plain with stripes, and pockets,with the same colour trousers-(bootcut) and matching shoes, and a scarf with a goatee!!
I did shop at Mr Big,a store for the "big and tall man", once.I walked in and the assistant said "I can see why you shop here sir".
He got the reply
"yep it's a bind being so tall"
He then proceeded to measure me up,and shout my vital statistics to another assistant, so much for discretion.What with that and the 68" waist swimming trunks pinned on the wall, (they looked like the sail from a wind surfer) I beat a hasty retreat
I'm also having recurring nightmares about the time I walked into next and said,
"Do you have anything in my size?"
and got the reply
"If we have,someone is getting the sack!!".
I also want to know why most trousers for the larger man are made of polyester,if you walk more than 20 yards in them, you generate enough electricity to keep Blackpool illuminations going for a week. Polyester should be banned under the Geneva convention
I have a 20" neck, 54" chest and a 46" waist,so jackets off the peg are rarer than rocking horse poo, and usually if they fit in the chest, the arms are way too long.It was nice when I was in America, as only being xxl shirt, I was almost anorexic. I always say I am Bulimic amnesiac, I binge but forget to throw up. I've taken medical advice, the doctor asked if my size is down to drink, but I told him it was because of my feet. I can't keep'em out of the pantry!!
I also went for liposuction, but it was on blow instead of suck
Anyway Trinny (way too thin if you ask me, get a good tater dinner down you girl)and Susannah,(just how a woman should be, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for breaking wind!!) reckon there are 6 male types, i.e.
1) Thick neck (see above) Wear Big deep collars/v neck jumpers/unbuttoned shirts/scarves/ goatees
2) Man boobs - wear prints,not plain,vertical stripes on shirts/vertical layering/pockets on shirts
3) Beer Belly ( not beer in my case, but you get the idea) Wear loose t shirt/low waist jeans/dark t shirt under a light top/scarves/one colour top & jeans
4) Short legs ( forgot to mention, 5tft 10" with a 29" inside leg) Wear all one colour/layered tops/flat top shoes/shoe and trouser colour to match/vertical stripes
5) Skinny - Wear short sleeve shirts/ skinny jeans/suit jackets
6) Top heavy (see above) Wear boot leg trousers/long scarves/fitted 2 button jackets/small pattern shirts/t shirts
Talk about feeling a freak,I'm now looking for a big collared shirt that is plain with stripes, and pockets,with the same colour trousers-(bootcut) and matching shoes, and a scarf with a goatee!!
I did shop at Mr Big,a store for the "big and tall man", once.I walked in and the assistant said "I can see why you shop here sir".
He got the reply
"yep it's a bind being so tall"
He then proceeded to measure me up,and shout my vital statistics to another assistant, so much for discretion.What with that and the 68" waist swimming trunks pinned on the wall, (they looked like the sail from a wind surfer) I beat a hasty retreat
I'm also having recurring nightmares about the time I walked into next and said,
"Do you have anything in my size?"
and got the reply
"If we have,someone is getting the sack!!".
I also want to know why most trousers for the larger man are made of polyester,if you walk more than 20 yards in them, you generate enough electricity to keep Blackpool illuminations going for a week. Polyester should be banned under the Geneva convention
The wisdom of Alwyn Cosgrove
You can't argue with this.Alwyn is probably the most in demand personal trainer in the world.When he talks, I always listen, because there is always something to learn
Here are a few basic truths about fat loss that no one really wants to hear:
Think about the foods that you are about to consume. Are they going to bring you closer to your goal? Or will they make you feel like crap and take you farther away from what you want? Yeah, I know that when you were younger before you had kids you could eat blah, blah, blah and not gain weight. Too bad. Times have changed.
You do not need something sweet to finish your meal. This is a conditioned response from your childhood days when cleaning your plate meant ice cream. “Need” something sweet? Do you realize how much you just ate? You don’t need anything. Dessert is not a physiological need for survival. It is just a bad habit. Habits can be broken. You do not need the cheesecake.
Cookies, doughnuts, and muffins are crap food choices. You can't ever justify eating them on a regular basis. And low carb, fat-free cookies, doughnuts, and muffins are still crap. Don't kid yourself.
Yes, you can eat fast food. It's called grilled chicken sandwiches or a turkey sub, Jarod. Fries? No. And you do not need to “super size” for an extra 50 cents.
If you want to eat whatever you want, you have two choices.
1) Move a lot. A LOT.
2) Gain weight, get fat, accept it, and stop complaining.
Here are a few basic truths about fat loss that no one really wants to hear:
Think about the foods that you are about to consume. Are they going to bring you closer to your goal? Or will they make you feel like crap and take you farther away from what you want? Yeah, I know that when you were younger before you had kids you could eat blah, blah, blah and not gain weight. Too bad. Times have changed.
You do not need something sweet to finish your meal. This is a conditioned response from your childhood days when cleaning your plate meant ice cream. “Need” something sweet? Do you realize how much you just ate? You don’t need anything. Dessert is not a physiological need for survival. It is just a bad habit. Habits can be broken. You do not need the cheesecake.
Cookies, doughnuts, and muffins are crap food choices. You can't ever justify eating them on a regular basis. And low carb, fat-free cookies, doughnuts, and muffins are still crap. Don't kid yourself.
Yes, you can eat fast food. It's called grilled chicken sandwiches or a turkey sub, Jarod. Fries? No. And you do not need to “super size” for an extra 50 cents.
If you want to eat whatever you want, you have two choices.
1) Move a lot. A LOT.
2) Gain weight, get fat, accept it, and stop complaining.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Can you really train effectively at home?
By using only dumbell and bodyweight exercises, you can burn fat and get lean at home. You don't need fancy machines or pricey equipment to lose stomach fat.
If you have dumbells, you can do even more exercises, and increase the challenge of your bodyweight exercises. If you don't want to go to a workout center anymore, then don't worry, you can burn fat at home.
Plus, by exercising at home, you'll get your workouts done in the same amount of time as it would take to drive to the gym and back. Talk about a time saver!
Here are 27 exercises you can do at home to lose fat and build muscle, helping you burn belly fat and get 6-pack abs.
By putting these exercises together into supersets, you can get a total body resistance training workout done in only 20 minutes. Follow that up with 15-20 minutes of interval training, and you'll have the best belly fat burning workout you can do in only 45 minutes.
Boring aerobic exercise is not necessary for fat loss. Let's take a look at these fat burning, minimal equipment exercises you can do in a small space in your own home.
Here are the lower body exercises you can do to boost your metabolism and build a better butt and legs.
1. Squats
2. Stability Ball Leg Curls (don't worry, these stability balls are super cheap, and you can get them for only $20 at almost any department store)
3. Lying hip extensions
4. Lying single leg hip extensions
5. Split Squats (aka. the stationary lunge)
6. Split Squats with your back foot elevated 6 inches
7. Reverse Lunges
8. Forward Lunges
9. Stepups
10. 1-Leg Squats
Many of those calorie-burning exercises can be done with dumbells as well, if you need to increase the challenge. If you want to build muscle, you'll need to use dumbells as well.
There are many more lower body exercises you can do without machines. And its the same story with upper body exercises as well.
To work your arms and your chest, you can do all sorts of pushups.
1. Regular pushups
2. Close-grip pushups
3. Pushups with your feet elevated
4. Pushups with one hand elevated
5. My favorite, most difficult pushup, "Spiderman Pushups"
6. And beginners can start with either Incline Pushups or Kneeling Pushups.
If you have a bench and a set of dumbells, you can do...
1. Dumbell chest presses
2. Dumbell incline presses
3. Dumbell shoulder presses
And there are many variations of those you can do as well.
Training your back is trickier when exercising at home. If you have an adjustable pullup bar, you can do:
1. Inverted Bodyweight Rows (aka. Reverse Pushups)
2. Chinups
3. Pullups (these are overhand grip and harder than chinups)
Of course, I'm leaving out many variations of these fantastic exercises.
If you don't have a bar, you need to use dumbells, and can do:
1. Dumbell Rows (there are probably a dozen different ways to do dumbell rows)
2. Dumbell Rear-Deltoid Raises
Finally, we'll finish with ab training exercises you can do at home. Let's ignore situps and crunches, since they aren't the best use of your time, and can damage the low back.
I avoid crunching type ab exercises in my programs and use static endurance exercises, like:
1. Planks (and side planks)
2. Mountain Climbers
3. Stability Ball Jackknives
4. Stability Ball Rollouts
5. The Ab Wheel (yes, this infomercial gadget is actually useful!)
So that's at least 29 fat burning exercises you can do at home. But in fact, simple variations in technique, or adding dumbells, or changing hand position can actually give you 101 exercises you can with this list to help you burn belly fat and sculpt your body.
If you want to burn belly fat at home, then download the free report, "The Dark Side of Cardio" from www.TurbulenceTraining.com. Men's Health expert Craig Ballantyne gives you dozens of fat burning exercises to lose stomach fat and sculpt your body at home.
If you have dumbells, you can do even more exercises, and increase the challenge of your bodyweight exercises. If you don't want to go to a workout center anymore, then don't worry, you can burn fat at home.
Plus, by exercising at home, you'll get your workouts done in the same amount of time as it would take to drive to the gym and back. Talk about a time saver!
Here are 27 exercises you can do at home to lose fat and build muscle, helping you burn belly fat and get 6-pack abs.
By putting these exercises together into supersets, you can get a total body resistance training workout done in only 20 minutes. Follow that up with 15-20 minutes of interval training, and you'll have the best belly fat burning workout you can do in only 45 minutes.
Boring aerobic exercise is not necessary for fat loss. Let's take a look at these fat burning, minimal equipment exercises you can do in a small space in your own home.
Here are the lower body exercises you can do to boost your metabolism and build a better butt and legs.
1. Squats
2. Stability Ball Leg Curls (don't worry, these stability balls are super cheap, and you can get them for only $20 at almost any department store)
3. Lying hip extensions
4. Lying single leg hip extensions
5. Split Squats (aka. the stationary lunge)
6. Split Squats with your back foot elevated 6 inches
7. Reverse Lunges
8. Forward Lunges
9. Stepups
10. 1-Leg Squats
Many of those calorie-burning exercises can be done with dumbells as well, if you need to increase the challenge. If you want to build muscle, you'll need to use dumbells as well.
There are many more lower body exercises you can do without machines. And its the same story with upper body exercises as well.
To work your arms and your chest, you can do all sorts of pushups.
1. Regular pushups
2. Close-grip pushups
3. Pushups with your feet elevated
4. Pushups with one hand elevated
5. My favorite, most difficult pushup, "Spiderman Pushups"
6. And beginners can start with either Incline Pushups or Kneeling Pushups.
If you have a bench and a set of dumbells, you can do...
1. Dumbell chest presses
2. Dumbell incline presses
3. Dumbell shoulder presses
And there are many variations of those you can do as well.
Training your back is trickier when exercising at home. If you have an adjustable pullup bar, you can do:
1. Inverted Bodyweight Rows (aka. Reverse Pushups)
2. Chinups
3. Pullups (these are overhand grip and harder than chinups)
Of course, I'm leaving out many variations of these fantastic exercises.
If you don't have a bar, you need to use dumbells, and can do:
1. Dumbell Rows (there are probably a dozen different ways to do dumbell rows)
2. Dumbell Rear-Deltoid Raises
Finally, we'll finish with ab training exercises you can do at home. Let's ignore situps and crunches, since they aren't the best use of your time, and can damage the low back.
I avoid crunching type ab exercises in my programs and use static endurance exercises, like:
1. Planks (and side planks)
2. Mountain Climbers
3. Stability Ball Jackknives
4. Stability Ball Rollouts
5. The Ab Wheel (yes, this infomercial gadget is actually useful!)
So that's at least 29 fat burning exercises you can do at home. But in fact, simple variations in technique, or adding dumbells, or changing hand position can actually give you 101 exercises you can with this list to help you burn belly fat and sculpt your body.
If you want to burn belly fat at home, then download the free report, "The Dark Side of Cardio" from www.TurbulenceTraining.com. Men's Health expert Craig Ballantyne gives you dozens of fat burning exercises to lose stomach fat and sculpt your body at home.
A Question for you
We all know that water is important but I've never seen it written down like this before.
This is really an eye opener!
WATER
1. 75% of the UK population are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half world population.)
2. In 37% of all the UK population, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50%less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?
COKE
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION:
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous Material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!
Now the question is, would YOU like a glass of water or coke???
I know what I 'd prefer
This is really an eye opener!
WATER
1. 75% of the UK population are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half world population.)
2. In 37% of all the UK population, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50%less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?
COKE
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION:
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous Material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!
Now the question is, would YOU like a glass of water or coke???
I know what I 'd prefer
Monday, November 05, 2007
Mistakes Good or Bad?
If you're afraid to make a mistake - you're interferring
with the very process that makes you successful. This is
a tough lesson for so many people to learn. Mistakes are
not the end of the world; they're your ticket to a whole new
life.
I remember one evening I sat at home with my son, Jordan, talking
about what it takes to get good at anything. He was about six,
but he was thirsty for knowledge.He's also always had a powerful self-image, probably from being an only child.
'Tell me about something you hadn't used to be able
to do?' I asked. 'Something that used to be hard for you but now
it's easy.'
'Throwing a ball,' he immediately said.
'Okay, what else?'
'Catching a ball.'
'And ...?'
'Writing.'
'Okay, good. Can you think of anything else?'
'Hmmm,spelling.'
'Any idea how many things you've forgotten? How about learning to roll over, to crawl, to stand, to walk, to run, to get dressed, to feed yourself, and so on.'
Jordan looked at me with eyes wide with wonder
"These things once were very difficult for you. You
struggled with them. You made lots of mistakes. Yet now
you can do them a lot, lot easier, right?'
'Right.'
'Do you know what this means?' I asked. 'It means that anything
you want to learn, the same rules will apply. At first you'll make
mistakes. You'll struggle. Then you'll make fewer mistakes because
the mistakes are teaching you WHAT to do. Then, if you pay attention like you have so far, you'll be able to do the new thing, too. It's as simple as that. But if you whine and complain and cry about your mistakes, you'll never get anywhere. You'll think poorly about yourself and you'll get results that you don't want .'
I talked with Jordan a bit more about the value mistakes
have in life - and I reinforced those words over and over again.
Of course, this is only a lesson for six-year old kids. I don't
know of a single adult who could benefit from this knowledge!!
Do You?
I think all of us can.
Don't fear mistakes. Use them as the corrective feedback
they truly are. Mistake lead to greatness - but only if you
stop judging them as bad.
with the very process that makes you successful. This is
a tough lesson for so many people to learn. Mistakes are
not the end of the world; they're your ticket to a whole new
life.
I remember one evening I sat at home with my son, Jordan, talking
about what it takes to get good at anything. He was about six,
but he was thirsty for knowledge.He's also always had a powerful self-image, probably from being an only child.
'Tell me about something you hadn't used to be able
to do?' I asked. 'Something that used to be hard for you but now
it's easy.'
'Throwing a ball,' he immediately said.
'Okay, what else?'
'Catching a ball.'
'And ...?'
'Writing.'
'Okay, good. Can you think of anything else?'
'Hmmm,spelling.'
'Any idea how many things you've forgotten? How about learning to roll over, to crawl, to stand, to walk, to run, to get dressed, to feed yourself, and so on.'
Jordan looked at me with eyes wide with wonder
"These things once were very difficult for you. You
struggled with them. You made lots of mistakes. Yet now
you can do them a lot, lot easier, right?'
'Right.'
'Do you know what this means?' I asked. 'It means that anything
you want to learn, the same rules will apply. At first you'll make
mistakes. You'll struggle. Then you'll make fewer mistakes because
the mistakes are teaching you WHAT to do. Then, if you pay attention like you have so far, you'll be able to do the new thing, too. It's as simple as that. But if you whine and complain and cry about your mistakes, you'll never get anywhere. You'll think poorly about yourself and you'll get results that you don't want .'
I talked with Jordan a bit more about the value mistakes
have in life - and I reinforced those words over and over again.
Of course, this is only a lesson for six-year old kids. I don't
know of a single adult who could benefit from this knowledge!!
Do You?
I think all of us can.
Don't fear mistakes. Use them as the corrective feedback
they truly are. Mistake lead to greatness - but only if you
stop judging them as bad.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
The best way to burn fat
Do you know the best way to burn belly fat?
it's a shock to most men and women
Even most personal trainers usually guess, "Crunches", "Situps", or "aerobic cardio" as the best way to lose stomach fat. But none of those work best, or even work at all!
The truth is cardio is not the best way to burn fat.
In fact, I've met very few people who have successfully used cardio to lose stomach fat. And most of those people were young men, and anything works for them when they want to burn fat.
If you want to lose stomach fat fast, you need to increase the intensity of your workout by using both resistance training and interval training to lose stomach fat.
In fact, I often get asked, What's the best way to burn fat? Do aerobics work better than interval training? Can I workout at home to lose my love handles? Does resistance training help at all? What should I eat to lose stomach fat?
While bodybuilders and young guys without any cares in the world can spend an hour a day on cardio - and sometimes get results - men and women who only have 45 minutes, 3 times per week for exercise just can't depend on slow cardio workouts to burn belly fat.
Australian researchers, such as Professor Steve Boucher, even believe that interval training can lead to a spot reduction of belly fat. That's something that no amount of abdominal training can do.
What's the perfect workout plan to get you maximum fat burning results in minimum workout time?
Here are the keys. First, start with a circuit of bodyweight exercises to prepare your body for a fat burning workout. This should only take 5 minutes.
Follow that up with supersets of resistance training using multi-muscle exercises for maximum metabolism boosting. This works so much for post-exercise calorie burning than slow cardio workouts. That will lead to more belly fat burning as well.
After 15 minutes of resistance training, finish with 15-20 minutes of interval training. Use a warmup, then do a few intervals, and then cool-down. You don't need a lot of intervals to get great fat burning results.
With that workout schedule, you'll be in and out of the gym in 45 minutes, three times per week.
Men and women love the fast fat burning results they get from short burst exercise sessions. Your body was not meant to run marathons. Instead, it was meant to perform quick bursts of exercise, and that is why resistance training and interval training sculpt a better body than long, slow cardio.
Compare that to what most people do, which is run, jog, cycle or use the cardio machines for 45 minutes straight. Sure, that will burn calories, but it doesn't build a better body.
The best way to lose stomach fat is to use the following three exercise methods.
1) Bodyweight circuit training to warm-up the body
2) Resistance training supersets to boost the metabolism
3) Interval training to burn belly fat
Put those three, short exercise methods together to lose stomach fat fast!
Click here to find out more
it's a shock to most men and women
Even most personal trainers usually guess, "Crunches", "Situps", or "aerobic cardio" as the best way to lose stomach fat. But none of those work best, or even work at all!
The truth is cardio is not the best way to burn fat.
In fact, I've met very few people who have successfully used cardio to lose stomach fat. And most of those people were young men, and anything works for them when they want to burn fat.
If you want to lose stomach fat fast, you need to increase the intensity of your workout by using both resistance training and interval training to lose stomach fat.
In fact, I often get asked, What's the best way to burn fat? Do aerobics work better than interval training? Can I workout at home to lose my love handles? Does resistance training help at all? What should I eat to lose stomach fat?
While bodybuilders and young guys without any cares in the world can spend an hour a day on cardio - and sometimes get results - men and women who only have 45 minutes, 3 times per week for exercise just can't depend on slow cardio workouts to burn belly fat.
Australian researchers, such as Professor Steve Boucher, even believe that interval training can lead to a spot reduction of belly fat. That's something that no amount of abdominal training can do.
What's the perfect workout plan to get you maximum fat burning results in minimum workout time?
Here are the keys. First, start with a circuit of bodyweight exercises to prepare your body for a fat burning workout. This should only take 5 minutes.
Follow that up with supersets of resistance training using multi-muscle exercises for maximum metabolism boosting. This works so much for post-exercise calorie burning than slow cardio workouts. That will lead to more belly fat burning as well.
After 15 minutes of resistance training, finish with 15-20 minutes of interval training. Use a warmup, then do a few intervals, and then cool-down. You don't need a lot of intervals to get great fat burning results.
With that workout schedule, you'll be in and out of the gym in 45 minutes, three times per week.
Men and women love the fast fat burning results they get from short burst exercise sessions. Your body was not meant to run marathons. Instead, it was meant to perform quick bursts of exercise, and that is why resistance training and interval training sculpt a better body than long, slow cardio.
Compare that to what most people do, which is run, jog, cycle or use the cardio machines for 45 minutes straight. Sure, that will burn calories, but it doesn't build a better body.
The best way to lose stomach fat is to use the following three exercise methods.
1) Bodyweight circuit training to warm-up the body
2) Resistance training supersets to boost the metabolism
3) Interval training to burn belly fat
Put those three, short exercise methods together to lose stomach fat fast!
Click here to find out more
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Be Free From Back Pain
You've got back pain.
You can't bend over. You can't play with your kids or grandkids. You can't play golf. You can't even do your regular routine around the house. The long commute to work is killing you. You sit at your desk in gnawing pain, and you need to get rid of it.
Here's how...
First and foremost, you need to see an expert to determine the cause and solution of your back pain. This is not something to be ignored. Ask around the gym or the office for a referral to a physio or a chiropractor. Then see your doctor and get help as soon as possible.
Second, you need to find the cause of your pain and eliminate it.It usually means you have a bad bed, a poor office workstation setup, or a bad exercise program.Remove the offending activity that is crippling you with back pain.
In the gym there are many ways that you might make the back pain worse,fortunately, there are also many ways to help reduce your back pain
Never round your back. So that means no situps, no crunches, no picking up weights off the floor with a rounded back, and no rowing exercises performed with a rounded back. Be diligent with your form in all squats, rows, deadlifts, etc. If in doubt, skip the exercise.
Now picking up weights off the floor - that's where you see some of the ugliest form in the gym. So don't think that because it's "not really part of your exercise" that you can use poor posture when you are moving weights around the gym. Follow these rules when lifting for proper form:
- Increase your abdominal endurance with exercises like the plank and side plank
- Brace your abdominals (clench them tight) in every exercise
- Keep your low back in a proper alignment by keeping a slight arch in the low back in all exercises
Follow these rules and you'll be able to exercise safely.
The Turbulence Training program comes with torso training workouts that will help you build muscle endurance and reduce your risk of back pain. Being overweight is another cause of back pain (and knee pain too). So you need to get on a fat loss program that works and takes care of your back at the same time. And that's where a good, and safe, fat burning workout comes in.
Use proper form, build your abdominal endurance and you'll avoid back pain (while getting closer to that ever elusive 6-Pack.
Learn how to lose body fat and avoid back pain by doing the right type of exercises. Discover all of this information in the free report called, The Dark Side of Cardio Here
Craig Ballantyne's interval training workouts have helped thousands of men and women with weight loss and fat burning in less than 45 minutes three times per week. Craig's home workouts help you lose fat without long, slow cardio sessions or fancy equipment. Craig's bodyweight exercises help you lose fat without any equipment at all.
You can't bend over. You can't play with your kids or grandkids. You can't play golf. You can't even do your regular routine around the house. The long commute to work is killing you. You sit at your desk in gnawing pain, and you need to get rid of it.
Here's how...
First and foremost, you need to see an expert to determine the cause and solution of your back pain. This is not something to be ignored. Ask around the gym or the office for a referral to a physio or a chiropractor. Then see your doctor and get help as soon as possible.
Second, you need to find the cause of your pain and eliminate it.It usually means you have a bad bed, a poor office workstation setup, or a bad exercise program.Remove the offending activity that is crippling you with back pain.
In the gym there are many ways that you might make the back pain worse,fortunately, there are also many ways to help reduce your back pain
Never round your back. So that means no situps, no crunches, no picking up weights off the floor with a rounded back, and no rowing exercises performed with a rounded back. Be diligent with your form in all squats, rows, deadlifts, etc. If in doubt, skip the exercise.
Now picking up weights off the floor - that's where you see some of the ugliest form in the gym. So don't think that because it's "not really part of your exercise" that you can use poor posture when you are moving weights around the gym. Follow these rules when lifting for proper form:
- Increase your abdominal endurance with exercises like the plank and side plank
- Brace your abdominals (clench them tight) in every exercise
- Keep your low back in a proper alignment by keeping a slight arch in the low back in all exercises
Follow these rules and you'll be able to exercise safely.
The Turbulence Training program comes with torso training workouts that will help you build muscle endurance and reduce your risk of back pain. Being overweight is another cause of back pain (and knee pain too). So you need to get on a fat loss program that works and takes care of your back at the same time. And that's where a good, and safe, fat burning workout comes in.
Use proper form, build your abdominal endurance and you'll avoid back pain (while getting closer to that ever elusive 6-Pack.
Learn how to lose body fat and avoid back pain by doing the right type of exercises. Discover all of this information in the free report called, The Dark Side of Cardio Here
Craig Ballantyne's interval training workouts have helped thousands of men and women with weight loss and fat burning in less than 45 minutes three times per week. Craig's home workouts help you lose fat without long, slow cardio sessions or fancy equipment. Craig's bodyweight exercises help you lose fat without any equipment at all.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
How To Set Fitness Goals
-
We’ve all heard the old proverb ‘a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’ right?
The moral is that in order to achieve anything in life we have to take some small action toward making it happen.
Seems like sound and logical advice on the most part, but a word of caution.
That one small step could be all it takes to ensure the failure of all of your health and fitness efforts.
Especially if that step is in the wrong direction!
You see, most new and returning exercisers set out with good intentions and a list of ‘wishes’ without ever giving a thought to planning or setting realistic goals.
They simply join a gym and begin a diet with the intention of ‘getting fit’ or ‘losing weight’ and then feel disillusioned a couple of months later when neither result is achieved.
This sets in place a vicious cycle of failure where negative results create negative thoughts and feelings which, in turn, perpetuate the negative results.
And on, and on and on…
If you really want to see some real success and actually achieve your goals for a change, then follow these 4 simple steps:
Define your aim – Merely stating that you wish to ‘lose weight’ or ‘get fit’ is of little value when setting your health and fitness goals. These definitions are far too broad and are relatively meaningless and as such hold very little power to motivate us.
Instead you need to define what these terms mean.
Is getting fit running a mile?
Completing the marathon?
Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro?
Does losing weight involve losing 15lbs of total weight or 10lbs of body-fat?
Can you see the difference in the approach?
In the first instance we are merely ‘getting fit’ whereas in the second we are completing the marathon. This creates a situation where we now have a specific target to aim at along with an actual measure from which we can ascertain our current level of success.
If you want to stay motivated and on track then stating your specific aim is the best way to assure your success.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE THIS YEAR?
Define your purpose – Whilst many people have found some level of success with the first step, there are still many who set their goals specifically and yet still fail to achieve them.
Invariably, when assessing why success was not forthcoming there always seems to be the feeling that the goal was not worth the effort required to achieve it. For this reason it is important to determine from the outset ‘WHY am I doing this thing?’
You see, without this sense of purpose there will always be a lack of passion or compelling reasons to stay with the goal when the going gets tough.
Conversely, those people who exhibit a great sense of purpose are always more willing to find a way when the odds are stacked against them. The difference is passion!
WHY DO YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE THIS? (What makes it so important to you?)
Define the territory and plan the route – Even if you know where you want to get to and why you want to get there, it’s still a good idea to plan HOW you’re going to achieve the goal.
This is somewhat like planning a route on a map.
You may well be able to locate the destination on the map, but if you don’t know where you’re starting from you’ll never know which turns to take in order to get there and so you’ll be more likely to get lost along the way.
In terms of health and fitness, it’s a good idea to find out where you’re starting from by taking measurements, photographs and maybe testing your fitness with a run, some pushups or some other test relevant to the goal.
This will enable you to determine where you are relative to the end goal and allow you to plan the following weeks and months of training accordingly. In addition, you’ll be able to perform these tests at 4-6 week periods to find out how well you’re doing and adapt your approach if it’s not working.
WHERE ARE YOU IN RELATION TO THE GOAL? What do you need to do in order to get from where you are now to your final destination?
Take massive and consistent action – Even when all of the above steps are completed, it’s all for nothing if you fail to do anything to actually make progress toward your goal. You have to DO SOMETHING! And the bigger the better!
You see, sometimes it’s the small things that stop you from achieving the big things in life. Small things like habits exert an immense influence upon our lives and create a ‘gravitational pull’ every time we try to break free of them.
For this reason it’s often a good idea to smash a habit by taking massive action at the start of your new health and fitness ‘habit’. Don’t just ‘start a diet’, change your lifestyle!
But we all know that large actions aren’t always sustainable don’t we?
This is where consistency becomes important. It’s the ‘little things’ that we do everyday that determine our success in any endeavour and so our efforts need to focus on doing the right little things everyday.
For example, a single workout will produced few if any gains in muscle tone or fitness, but perform that same workout on a regular basis and you create a powerful habit that will practically guarantee your health and fitness success. This is the power of the little things!
WHAT MASSIVE ACTION ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE?
WHAT LITTLE THING CAN YOU DO EVERY DAY?
There you have it.
These four steps are simple yet very effective and are the blueprint for practically every successful person you’ve ever read or heard about.
Follow them for six months and you’ll be astounded at what can be achieved.
I guarantee it!
We’ve all heard the old proverb ‘a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’ right?
The moral is that in order to achieve anything in life we have to take some small action toward making it happen.
Seems like sound and logical advice on the most part, but a word of caution.
That one small step could be all it takes to ensure the failure of all of your health and fitness efforts.
Especially if that step is in the wrong direction!
You see, most new and returning exercisers set out with good intentions and a list of ‘wishes’ without ever giving a thought to planning or setting realistic goals.
They simply join a gym and begin a diet with the intention of ‘getting fit’ or ‘losing weight’ and then feel disillusioned a couple of months later when neither result is achieved.
This sets in place a vicious cycle of failure where negative results create negative thoughts and feelings which, in turn, perpetuate the negative results.
And on, and on and on…
If you really want to see some real success and actually achieve your goals for a change, then follow these 4 simple steps:
Define your aim – Merely stating that you wish to ‘lose weight’ or ‘get fit’ is of little value when setting your health and fitness goals. These definitions are far too broad and are relatively meaningless and as such hold very little power to motivate us.
Instead you need to define what these terms mean.
Is getting fit running a mile?
Completing the marathon?
Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro?
Does losing weight involve losing 15lbs of total weight or 10lbs of body-fat?
Can you see the difference in the approach?
In the first instance we are merely ‘getting fit’ whereas in the second we are completing the marathon. This creates a situation where we now have a specific target to aim at along with an actual measure from which we can ascertain our current level of success.
If you want to stay motivated and on track then stating your specific aim is the best way to assure your success.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE THIS YEAR?
Define your purpose – Whilst many people have found some level of success with the first step, there are still many who set their goals specifically and yet still fail to achieve them.
Invariably, when assessing why success was not forthcoming there always seems to be the feeling that the goal was not worth the effort required to achieve it. For this reason it is important to determine from the outset ‘WHY am I doing this thing?’
You see, without this sense of purpose there will always be a lack of passion or compelling reasons to stay with the goal when the going gets tough.
Conversely, those people who exhibit a great sense of purpose are always more willing to find a way when the odds are stacked against them. The difference is passion!
WHY DO YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE THIS? (What makes it so important to you?)
Define the territory and plan the route – Even if you know where you want to get to and why you want to get there, it’s still a good idea to plan HOW you’re going to achieve the goal.
This is somewhat like planning a route on a map.
You may well be able to locate the destination on the map, but if you don’t know where you’re starting from you’ll never know which turns to take in order to get there and so you’ll be more likely to get lost along the way.
In terms of health and fitness, it’s a good idea to find out where you’re starting from by taking measurements, photographs and maybe testing your fitness with a run, some pushups or some other test relevant to the goal.
This will enable you to determine where you are relative to the end goal and allow you to plan the following weeks and months of training accordingly. In addition, you’ll be able to perform these tests at 4-6 week periods to find out how well you’re doing and adapt your approach if it’s not working.
WHERE ARE YOU IN RELATION TO THE GOAL? What do you need to do in order to get from where you are now to your final destination?
Take massive and consistent action – Even when all of the above steps are completed, it’s all for nothing if you fail to do anything to actually make progress toward your goal. You have to DO SOMETHING! And the bigger the better!
You see, sometimes it’s the small things that stop you from achieving the big things in life. Small things like habits exert an immense influence upon our lives and create a ‘gravitational pull’ every time we try to break free of them.
For this reason it’s often a good idea to smash a habit by taking massive action at the start of your new health and fitness ‘habit’. Don’t just ‘start a diet’, change your lifestyle!
But we all know that large actions aren’t always sustainable don’t we?
This is where consistency becomes important. It’s the ‘little things’ that we do everyday that determine our success in any endeavour and so our efforts need to focus on doing the right little things everyday.
For example, a single workout will produced few if any gains in muscle tone or fitness, but perform that same workout on a regular basis and you create a powerful habit that will practically guarantee your health and fitness success. This is the power of the little things!
WHAT MASSIVE ACTION ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE?
WHAT LITTLE THING CAN YOU DO EVERY DAY?
There you have it.
These four steps are simple yet very effective and are the blueprint for practically every successful person you’ve ever read or heard about.
Follow them for six months and you’ll be astounded at what can be achieved.
I guarantee it!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
2 Sales Secrets That Can Improve Your Personal Life
"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me."
Winston Churchill
If you could spend a day in the offices of today’s most successful businesspeople, you’d find that they rely on a few surprisingly simple secrets to make more sales than their competition. And you can use the same techniques yourself - not only, as you would expect, to grow your own business, but also to gain prestige, increased respect from family and friends, and lots more of the things you want out of life.
Today, I’m going to show you how.
When we learn techniques that help us become better marketers, most of us don’t think about using them outside the realm of "work." But consider this…
When you want to talk a friend into eating at your favorite restaurant, your spouse into seeing the movie you want to see, or even a neighbor into pitching in on trimming the trees on your property line, you want that person to see things your way. Right? It’s a lot like the challenge a salesperson faces when trying to convince you to buy whatever it is that he’s selling, don’t you think? Well, just like a salesperson, when you use proven marketing techniques to persuade people to accept your ideas, you’ll hear that wonderful word "yes" far more frequently.
For example, Shawn M.’s neighborhood school marching band was invited to Washington, D.C. to participate in the National Memorial Day parade. As you can imagine, the kids, parents, and teachers were excited. After all, they were the only school in the whole state that got an invitation. But there was one big problem. Sending the band would cost $60,000 - and the school wasn’t about to foot the whole bill. Neither were most of the parents. It looked like the trip might not happen… until Shawn stepped in.
She knew that local corporations often sponsor community events and have a budget just for that purpose. So she decided she was going to get some of those funds for the band. While she could have just asked several companies for the money - and probably would have gotten some donations - she used two powerful marketing secrets and was far more successful.
Secret #1: Talk to the Heart, Not the Head
Every great marketer knows that people buy things for emotional rather than logical reasons. Most of the decisions people make are emotional too - including whether or not they will buy into someone else’s ideas. When you can tug at their heartstrings by figuring out how doing what you want them to do will make them feel good, they’ll follow you just about anywhere… and oftentimes give you exactly what you want.
In the letter Shawn wrote to solicit money for the trip, she didn’t say much about the National Memorial Day parade. Instead, she talked about the kids in the band. She wrote about their hard work. All the long hours they’d spent practicing just to win that coveted invitation. She also reminded the companies of the great publicity they’d get just for helping.
And thousands of dollars in corporate sponsorships came pouring in!
While Shawn won accolades from the band members, their parents, and staffers at the school, the companies that contributed money for the trip were just as thrilled with their decision to help out. They not only felt like heroes, they also enjoyed plenty of free publicity.
That’s another bonus of using this secret when you’re trying to convince someone to do something. Considering their point of view not only helps you get the "yes" you’re looking for - they get something out of giving you that "yes" Which means that everyone involved is happy.
Give this technique a try, and you’ll see how effective it is. Whether you’re talking to the other person or writing a letter, just remember to speak to the heart, not the head. Simply ask yourself three questions to get started:
1. What emotions is this person feeling about this topic?
2. What are this person’s emotional wants and needs?
3. How can I satisfy them?
Secret #2: Create a Picture
You probably already know that one of the most important aspects of selling is to show your customer the benefits of your product. And the best way to do that is to paint a dynamic picture for him with words. That’s what today’s leading marketers do all the time. Well, you can also use this technique to convince another person to "see" the benefit of doing something your way.
Let’s say you want to convince your spouse to head to Europe for the summer. To paint your picture, you might describe what it would be like to spend an afternoon sprawled out on a chaise next to the ocean in Cannes… or dining on freshly baked bread and homemade pasta at a candlelit dinner in a vineyard in Tuscany. Just like an artist, you would add layer after layer of colorful details.
Shawn did something similar in her letter. For example, instead of just saying, "Hey, you’ll get some super publicity if you sponsor the school’s band trip to Washington," she showed the companies all the publicity they’d get. She described how, while the band marched on national television, they would be carrying a banner with the company’s name on it… for millions to see. And how, when the local newspaper reported the story, they would mention that it was the company’s generous sponsorship that made the experience possible for the kids.
Getting the - pardon the pun - picture?
Whether you’re writing a letter to a business or talking to a friend, neighbor, or relative, use the secret of creating a picture to show them - literally - what’s in it for them if they do what you want them to do. Start by asking yourself two questions:
1. What’s the benefit (or benefits) to this person of giving me what I’m asking for?
2. How can I best illustrate this in a verbal picture?
When you use both secrets together - talking to the heart and creating a picture - you’ll see how easy it is to motivate people to take the actions you want them to take… to accept your ideas… and, like Shawn, to support causes that are important to you.
This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, the Internet’s most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.
Winston Churchill
If you could spend a day in the offices of today’s most successful businesspeople, you’d find that they rely on a few surprisingly simple secrets to make more sales than their competition. And you can use the same techniques yourself - not only, as you would expect, to grow your own business, but also to gain prestige, increased respect from family and friends, and lots more of the things you want out of life.
Today, I’m going to show you how.
When we learn techniques that help us become better marketers, most of us don’t think about using them outside the realm of "work." But consider this…
When you want to talk a friend into eating at your favorite restaurant, your spouse into seeing the movie you want to see, or even a neighbor into pitching in on trimming the trees on your property line, you want that person to see things your way. Right? It’s a lot like the challenge a salesperson faces when trying to convince you to buy whatever it is that he’s selling, don’t you think? Well, just like a salesperson, when you use proven marketing techniques to persuade people to accept your ideas, you’ll hear that wonderful word "yes" far more frequently.
For example, Shawn M.’s neighborhood school marching band was invited to Washington, D.C. to participate in the National Memorial Day parade. As you can imagine, the kids, parents, and teachers were excited. After all, they were the only school in the whole state that got an invitation. But there was one big problem. Sending the band would cost $60,000 - and the school wasn’t about to foot the whole bill. Neither were most of the parents. It looked like the trip might not happen… until Shawn stepped in.
She knew that local corporations often sponsor community events and have a budget just for that purpose. So she decided she was going to get some of those funds for the band. While she could have just asked several companies for the money - and probably would have gotten some donations - she used two powerful marketing secrets and was far more successful.
Secret #1: Talk to the Heart, Not the Head
Every great marketer knows that people buy things for emotional rather than logical reasons. Most of the decisions people make are emotional too - including whether or not they will buy into someone else’s ideas. When you can tug at their heartstrings by figuring out how doing what you want them to do will make them feel good, they’ll follow you just about anywhere… and oftentimes give you exactly what you want.
In the letter Shawn wrote to solicit money for the trip, she didn’t say much about the National Memorial Day parade. Instead, she talked about the kids in the band. She wrote about their hard work. All the long hours they’d spent practicing just to win that coveted invitation. She also reminded the companies of the great publicity they’d get just for helping.
And thousands of dollars in corporate sponsorships came pouring in!
While Shawn won accolades from the band members, their parents, and staffers at the school, the companies that contributed money for the trip were just as thrilled with their decision to help out. They not only felt like heroes, they also enjoyed plenty of free publicity.
That’s another bonus of using this secret when you’re trying to convince someone to do something. Considering their point of view not only helps you get the "yes" you’re looking for - they get something out of giving you that "yes" Which means that everyone involved is happy.
Give this technique a try, and you’ll see how effective it is. Whether you’re talking to the other person or writing a letter, just remember to speak to the heart, not the head. Simply ask yourself three questions to get started:
1. What emotions is this person feeling about this topic?
2. What are this person’s emotional wants and needs?
3. How can I satisfy them?
Secret #2: Create a Picture
You probably already know that one of the most important aspects of selling is to show your customer the benefits of your product. And the best way to do that is to paint a dynamic picture for him with words. That’s what today’s leading marketers do all the time. Well, you can also use this technique to convince another person to "see" the benefit of doing something your way.
Let’s say you want to convince your spouse to head to Europe for the summer. To paint your picture, you might describe what it would be like to spend an afternoon sprawled out on a chaise next to the ocean in Cannes… or dining on freshly baked bread and homemade pasta at a candlelit dinner in a vineyard in Tuscany. Just like an artist, you would add layer after layer of colorful details.
Shawn did something similar in her letter. For example, instead of just saying, "Hey, you’ll get some super publicity if you sponsor the school’s band trip to Washington," she showed the companies all the publicity they’d get. She described how, while the band marched on national television, they would be carrying a banner with the company’s name on it… for millions to see. And how, when the local newspaper reported the story, they would mention that it was the company’s generous sponsorship that made the experience possible for the kids.
Getting the - pardon the pun - picture?
Whether you’re writing a letter to a business or talking to a friend, neighbor, or relative, use the secret of creating a picture to show them - literally - what’s in it for them if they do what you want them to do. Start by asking yourself two questions:
1. What’s the benefit (or benefits) to this person of giving me what I’m asking for?
2. How can I best illustrate this in a verbal picture?
When you use both secrets together - talking to the heart and creating a picture - you’ll see how easy it is to motivate people to take the actions you want them to take… to accept your ideas… and, like Shawn, to support causes that are important to you.
This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, the Internet’s most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.
What Words Sell Best?
"He who wants to persuade should put his trust not in the right argument, but in the right word. The power of sound has always been greater than the power of sense."
Joseph Conrad
What Words Sell Best?
By Bob Bly
For several years, car manufacturers have been proactively marketing sales of used vehicles with ads touting "certified pre-owned vehicles." These are used cars that have been thoroughly inspected and come with a warranty equivalent to that of a new car (or close to it).
A few weeks ago, I heard a radio commercial for Toyota, which has jumped into this market. But instead of calling their used cars "pre-owned vehicles"… they call them "used cars"!
Now I admire plain-speaking people and honest, forthright language… and "used car" fits that bill better than "pre-owned vehicle." On the other hand, there’s a reason Montblanc sells "writing instruments" - and the reason is, no one wants to pay $100 for a "pen."
So what do you think? Will Toyota’s honesty be rewarded by consumers with more sales? Or are they shooting themselves in the foot by not advertising "pre-owned vehicles"?
I don’t know the answer. No one knows the answer to any marketing question until they test it. But there’s one thing I do know…
The words you choose for your marketing copy can make a big difference in how well it performs.
Or, to put it another way: Semantics sell.
Here’s a great example…
A number of years ago, when Clinton was still in office, I was driving in the D.C. area, where I almost always get lost. As I desperately tried to find K Street, I heard a radio commercial for American Spectator, the conservative magazine. The commercial said that if you called a toll-free number to subscribe, you would get a free premium - a special report titled "Inside the Clinton White House."
I didn’t call, but I am pretty sure that American Spectator, as is typical of magazines, put together this special report by assembling reprints of a few articles they’d done on Clinton during the year.
Listen to the words. "Special report" sounds important and exclusive… like something you’d want to have. And the title - "Inside the Clinton White House" - sounds juicy.
On the other hand, what if the radio commercial had closed with, "So call toll-free today to subscribe… and we’ll give you a bunch of past articles ripped out of old issues of the magazine and stapled together"?
I can’t imagine the phone ringing off the hook for that one.
Another example of the power of words in marketing is the old comic book ad with the headline "Enter the wonderful world of amazing live sea monkeys… open a bowl full of happiness - instant pets!"
The ad pictured a happy underwater family of cute, friendly creatures - a mom, dad, and kids - cavorting outside the family castle… presumably in a fish bowl… as a human youngster and his human parents (who had purchased the sea monkeys) look down in delight.
Well, if you took the bait and mailed in your money, what you got was a plastic vial full of dried brine shrimp eggs… with instructions to hatch them in warm, salty water. When mine hatched, they looked nothing like the handsome sea monkey family in the ad. They were little dots moving around in a bowl of water.
Yes, words have power. And the words you choose for your advertising decide a lot about what people think of you, your company, your product, and your offer… especially whether they want to buy or try it.
No one wants brine shrimp eggs. But "instant pets" and "amazing live sea monkeys"? I’m in!
One last example…
My colleague Gary Hennerberg was called on by a company in Texas that sold mail-order fruitcakes. Fruitcakes weren’t selling like hotcakes (big surprise)… and they needed to boost orders.
Gary asked the bakery what ingredients were used, and, to his surprise, he found that these fruitcakes contained pecans. Not only that, but they were grown locally in Texas, on the banks of a river, where the moisture made them particularly flavorful.
Gary told the company to test a mailing calling the product "native Texas pecan cakes" instead of "fruitcakes." They followed his advice… and fruitcake sales soared by 60 percent
Semantics, I guess. Go figure.
This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, the Internet’s most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.
Joseph Conrad
What Words Sell Best?
By Bob Bly
For several years, car manufacturers have been proactively marketing sales of used vehicles with ads touting "certified pre-owned vehicles." These are used cars that have been thoroughly inspected and come with a warranty equivalent to that of a new car (or close to it).
A few weeks ago, I heard a radio commercial for Toyota, which has jumped into this market. But instead of calling their used cars "pre-owned vehicles"… they call them "used cars"!
Now I admire plain-speaking people and honest, forthright language… and "used car" fits that bill better than "pre-owned vehicle." On the other hand, there’s a reason Montblanc sells "writing instruments" - and the reason is, no one wants to pay $100 for a "pen."
So what do you think? Will Toyota’s honesty be rewarded by consumers with more sales? Or are they shooting themselves in the foot by not advertising "pre-owned vehicles"?
I don’t know the answer. No one knows the answer to any marketing question until they test it. But there’s one thing I do know…
The words you choose for your marketing copy can make a big difference in how well it performs.
Or, to put it another way: Semantics sell.
Here’s a great example…
A number of years ago, when Clinton was still in office, I was driving in the D.C. area, where I almost always get lost. As I desperately tried to find K Street, I heard a radio commercial for American Spectator, the conservative magazine. The commercial said that if you called a toll-free number to subscribe, you would get a free premium - a special report titled "Inside the Clinton White House."
I didn’t call, but I am pretty sure that American Spectator, as is typical of magazines, put together this special report by assembling reprints of a few articles they’d done on Clinton during the year.
Listen to the words. "Special report" sounds important and exclusive… like something you’d want to have. And the title - "Inside the Clinton White House" - sounds juicy.
On the other hand, what if the radio commercial had closed with, "So call toll-free today to subscribe… and we’ll give you a bunch of past articles ripped out of old issues of the magazine and stapled together"?
I can’t imagine the phone ringing off the hook for that one.
Another example of the power of words in marketing is the old comic book ad with the headline "Enter the wonderful world of amazing live sea monkeys… open a bowl full of happiness - instant pets!"
The ad pictured a happy underwater family of cute, friendly creatures - a mom, dad, and kids - cavorting outside the family castle… presumably in a fish bowl… as a human youngster and his human parents (who had purchased the sea monkeys) look down in delight.
Well, if you took the bait and mailed in your money, what you got was a plastic vial full of dried brine shrimp eggs… with instructions to hatch them in warm, salty water. When mine hatched, they looked nothing like the handsome sea monkey family in the ad. They were little dots moving around in a bowl of water.
Yes, words have power. And the words you choose for your advertising decide a lot about what people think of you, your company, your product, and your offer… especially whether they want to buy or try it.
No one wants brine shrimp eggs. But "instant pets" and "amazing live sea monkeys"? I’m in!
One last example…
My colleague Gary Hennerberg was called on by a company in Texas that sold mail-order fruitcakes. Fruitcakes weren’t selling like hotcakes (big surprise)… and they needed to boost orders.
Gary asked the bakery what ingredients were used, and, to his surprise, he found that these fruitcakes contained pecans. Not only that, but they were grown locally in Texas, on the banks of a river, where the moisture made them particularly flavorful.
Gary told the company to test a mailing calling the product "native Texas pecan cakes" instead of "fruitcakes." They followed his advice… and fruitcake sales soared by 60 percent
Semantics, I guess. Go figure.
This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, the Internet’s most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Workouts for a Busy Gym
By Craig Ballantyne, CSCS, MS
Word count: 1525
Related keywords: cardio, fat loss, workout, exercise routine, burn fat, lose weight, weight loss, calories, intervals
With the dark nights drawing in and the festive holidays fast approaching, here's a quick but highly effective way to keep your fitness on track, while still having time for a life outside the gym.
Gyms are busy. Too busy. And it is always busiest when you settle in for your TT workout with its awesome fat-blasting supersets.
I know it drives you nuts when you are trying to pair lunges and
presses while someone is taking up valuable workout space chatting or doing some pointless fluff exercise. Why can't they just get out of your way and let you finish your super effective TT workout?
Crowded gyms are such a big problem that I designed the following TT workout that helps you perform my trademark "noncompeting" supersets - the most effective way to lift for fat loss - without letting anyone get in your way. This new version of TT lets you get it done right, even in a busy gym.
The secret to this workout is the pairing of two exercises that can be done at the same bench and often with the same weights. So you won't lose your spot between exercises. Camp out in your little area, work hard, and you'll get lean and lose fat faster than ever.
NOTE: This workout originally ran in Men's Fitness magazine, but I've actually improved the workout just for you! Always looking out for my TurbulenceTraining.com subscribers.
Workout Guidelines
· Workout 3 days per week alternating between workouts A &
B. Rest 1 day between sessions.
· In week 1, you will follow an A, B, A schedule. In week 2, a B, A, B schedule. In week 3, an A, B, A schedule, and in week 4, a B, A, B schedule.
· Each pair of exercises constitutes a "Superset". In each
Superset, do one set of the first exercise followed immediately by the next (1A & 1B) and then repeat.
· Rest 1 minute after completing the exercises in the
Superset (i.e. after 1A & 1B).
· Repeat each Superset until you've completed a total of three sets of each exercise in the pair, then move on to the next
pair.
· Use a 2-0-1 lifting tempo for all exercises (except for any holding exercises like the plank). Take 2 seconds to lower the weight, pause briefly, and then take 1 second to lift the weight.
· Finish each workout with stretching for the tight muscle
groups only.
· For full exercise descriptions and photos, see the Turbulence
Training manual.
Warm-up
· If you are limited by time, reduce the number of sets in the workout, but always perform the full warm-up.
· Never skip a warm-up.
o Perform this circuit 2x's using a 2-0-1 tempo:
- 10 reps of bodyweight squats or step-ups
- 20 seconds for the plank
- 8 reps of kneeling pushups or regular pushups
- 10 reps of inverted bodyweight rowing exercise or band pull
- Perform 2 warm-up sets for each exercise in the first Superset.
- 1 set of 8 reps with 50% of the weight you will use in your
"real" sets.
- 1 set of 8 reps with 75% of the weight you will use in your
"real" sets.
Turbulence Training Interval Training Guidelines
· Research has shown that interval training is very effective for fat loss.
· It is recommended that the stationary cycle be used for
interval training because it allows for an easy transition between
work and recovery.
· Finish each interval workout with stretching for the tight
muscle groups only.
Beginner Interval Workout:
· Warm-up for 5-minutes.
· Perform an interval by exercising for 30 seconds at a hard
pace (at a subjective 7/10 level of intensity) - i.e. fast walking.
· Follow that with "active rest" for 90 seconds by exercising at a slow pace (at a subjective 3/10 level of intensity) - i.e. slow walking.
· Repeat for 3-6 interval repetitions. Finish with 5-10 minutes of moderate intensity exercise for a cool-down at a 4/10 level of intensity.
Advanced Interval Workout
· Warm-up for 5-10 minutes.
· Perform an interval by exercising for 30 seconds at a very hard pace (at a subjective 9/10 level of intensity).
· Follow that with "active rest" for 60 seconds by exercising at a slow pace (at a subjective 3/10 level of intensity).
· Repeat for 3-6 interval repetitions. Finish with 5-10 minutes of moderate intensity exercise for a cool-down at a 4/10 level of intensity.
Workout A
1A) Wide-stance Squat (8 reps)
- Set your feet 4-6 inches wider than shoulder width, your toes pointed forward.
- This superset works best if performed in a squat rack that also has a chin-up bar.
1B) Chin-ups (6 reps)
- If this is too hard, perform a Reverse-grip Lat Pulldown.
- Rest 1 minute and then go back to Squats.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then move on to the next
Superset.
2A) Barbell Step-ups (8 reps per leg)
- Use a step that's high enough so that your knee is bent 90 degrees.
- If you have to use DB's for the step-ups, take an extra 30
seconds rest when going from the step-ups to the rows.
2B) DB or Barbell Row (8 reps)
- Keep your lower back naturally arched.
- Rest 1 minute and then go back to Step-ups.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then move on to the next
Superset.
3A) Side Plank (5 reps per side)
- Contract and brace your abs for 10 seconds per repetition
while keeping your body in a straight line.
3B) Stability Ball Jackknife (12 reps)
- Rest 30 seconds and then go back to Side Plank.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then go to the Intervals.
Workout B
1A) Low-Incline DB Chest Press (8 reps)
- Set the incline to one notch above the flat-bench position.
1B) DB or Barbell Romanian Deadlift (8 reps)
- Keep your lower back naturally arched for the entire
movement.
- Rest 1 minute and then go back to 1A.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then move on to the next
Superset.
2A) DB Close-grip Chest Press (8 reps)
- Push the dumbbells straight up, not together.
2B) DB Rear-deltoid Lateral Raise (8 reps)
- Keep a tight arch in lower back and lean forward as far as possible.
- Perform this exercise extra slowly so that you don't use
momentum.
- Rest 1 minute and then go back to 2A.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then move on to the next
Superset.
3A) Elevated Push-up (12 reps per side)
- Place one hand on a 4-inch step or box and lower your body as
far as possible.
3B) Stability Ball Rollout (15 reps)
- Keep your body in a straight line at all times--don't allow your back to round or bend backward.
Let me know how this workout goes for you and email me your
results. Better yet, take a before and after picture and some measurements to monitor your progress.
If you have any other questions, just let me know.
Sincerely,
Craig Ballantyne
Author, Turbulence Training
About the Author
Craig Ballantyne is a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist and writes for Men's Health, Men's Fitness, Maximum Fitness, Muscle and Fitness Hers, and Oxygen magazines. His trademarked Turbulence Training fat loss workouts have been featured multiple times in Men’s Fitness and Maximum Fitness magazines, and have helped thousands of men and women around the world lose fat, gain muscle, and get lean in less than 45 minutes three times per week. For more information on the Turbulence Training workouts that will help you burn fat without long, slow cardio sessions or fancy equipment, visit www.TurbulenceTraining.com
Word count: 1525
Related keywords: cardio, fat loss, workout, exercise routine, burn fat, lose weight, weight loss, calories, intervals
With the dark nights drawing in and the festive holidays fast approaching, here's a quick but highly effective way to keep your fitness on track, while still having time for a life outside the gym.
Gyms are busy. Too busy. And it is always busiest when you settle in for your TT workout with its awesome fat-blasting supersets.
I know it drives you nuts when you are trying to pair lunges and
presses while someone is taking up valuable workout space chatting or doing some pointless fluff exercise. Why can't they just get out of your way and let you finish your super effective TT workout?
Crowded gyms are such a big problem that I designed the following TT workout that helps you perform my trademark "noncompeting" supersets - the most effective way to lift for fat loss - without letting anyone get in your way. This new version of TT lets you get it done right, even in a busy gym.
The secret to this workout is the pairing of two exercises that can be done at the same bench and often with the same weights. So you won't lose your spot between exercises. Camp out in your little area, work hard, and you'll get lean and lose fat faster than ever.
NOTE: This workout originally ran in Men's Fitness magazine, but I've actually improved the workout just for you! Always looking out for my TurbulenceTraining.com subscribers.
Workout Guidelines
· Workout 3 days per week alternating between workouts A &
B. Rest 1 day between sessions.
· In week 1, you will follow an A, B, A schedule. In week 2, a B, A, B schedule. In week 3, an A, B, A schedule, and in week 4, a B, A, B schedule.
· Each pair of exercises constitutes a "Superset". In each
Superset, do one set of the first exercise followed immediately by the next (1A & 1B) and then repeat.
· Rest 1 minute after completing the exercises in the
Superset (i.e. after 1A & 1B).
· Repeat each Superset until you've completed a total of three sets of each exercise in the pair, then move on to the next
pair.
· Use a 2-0-1 lifting tempo for all exercises (except for any holding exercises like the plank). Take 2 seconds to lower the weight, pause briefly, and then take 1 second to lift the weight.
· Finish each workout with stretching for the tight muscle
groups only.
· For full exercise descriptions and photos, see the Turbulence
Training manual.
Warm-up
· If you are limited by time, reduce the number of sets in the workout, but always perform the full warm-up.
· Never skip a warm-up.
o Perform this circuit 2x's using a 2-0-1 tempo:
- 10 reps of bodyweight squats or step-ups
- 20 seconds for the plank
- 8 reps of kneeling pushups or regular pushups
- 10 reps of inverted bodyweight rowing exercise or band pull
- Perform 2 warm-up sets for each exercise in the first Superset.
- 1 set of 8 reps with 50% of the weight you will use in your
"real" sets.
- 1 set of 8 reps with 75% of the weight you will use in your
"real" sets.
Turbulence Training Interval Training Guidelines
· Research has shown that interval training is very effective for fat loss.
· It is recommended that the stationary cycle be used for
interval training because it allows for an easy transition between
work and recovery.
· Finish each interval workout with stretching for the tight
muscle groups only.
Beginner Interval Workout:
· Warm-up for 5-minutes.
· Perform an interval by exercising for 30 seconds at a hard
pace (at a subjective 7/10 level of intensity) - i.e. fast walking.
· Follow that with "active rest" for 90 seconds by exercising at a slow pace (at a subjective 3/10 level of intensity) - i.e. slow walking.
· Repeat for 3-6 interval repetitions. Finish with 5-10 minutes of moderate intensity exercise for a cool-down at a 4/10 level of intensity.
Advanced Interval Workout
· Warm-up for 5-10 minutes.
· Perform an interval by exercising for 30 seconds at a very hard pace (at a subjective 9/10 level of intensity).
· Follow that with "active rest" for 60 seconds by exercising at a slow pace (at a subjective 3/10 level of intensity).
· Repeat for 3-6 interval repetitions. Finish with 5-10 minutes of moderate intensity exercise for a cool-down at a 4/10 level of intensity.
Workout A
1A) Wide-stance Squat (8 reps)
- Set your feet 4-6 inches wider than shoulder width, your toes pointed forward.
- This superset works best if performed in a squat rack that also has a chin-up bar.
1B) Chin-ups (6 reps)
- If this is too hard, perform a Reverse-grip Lat Pulldown.
- Rest 1 minute and then go back to Squats.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then move on to the next
Superset.
2A) Barbell Step-ups (8 reps per leg)
- Use a step that's high enough so that your knee is bent 90 degrees.
- If you have to use DB's for the step-ups, take an extra 30
seconds rest when going from the step-ups to the rows.
2B) DB or Barbell Row (8 reps)
- Keep your lower back naturally arched.
- Rest 1 minute and then go back to Step-ups.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then move on to the next
Superset.
3A) Side Plank (5 reps per side)
- Contract and brace your abs for 10 seconds per repetition
while keeping your body in a straight line.
3B) Stability Ball Jackknife (12 reps)
- Rest 30 seconds and then go back to Side Plank.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then go to the Intervals.
Workout B
1A) Low-Incline DB Chest Press (8 reps)
- Set the incline to one notch above the flat-bench position.
1B) DB or Barbell Romanian Deadlift (8 reps)
- Keep your lower back naturally arched for the entire
movement.
- Rest 1 minute and then go back to 1A.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then move on to the next
Superset.
2A) DB Close-grip Chest Press (8 reps)
- Push the dumbbells straight up, not together.
2B) DB Rear-deltoid Lateral Raise (8 reps)
- Keep a tight arch in lower back and lean forward as far as possible.
- Perform this exercise extra slowly so that you don't use
momentum.
- Rest 1 minute and then go back to 2A.
- Do this Superset 3 times and then move on to the next
Superset.
3A) Elevated Push-up (12 reps per side)
- Place one hand on a 4-inch step or box and lower your body as
far as possible.
3B) Stability Ball Rollout (15 reps)
- Keep your body in a straight line at all times--don't allow your back to round or bend backward.
Let me know how this workout goes for you and email me your
results. Better yet, take a before and after picture and some measurements to monitor your progress.
If you have any other questions, just let me know.
Sincerely,
Craig Ballantyne
Author, Turbulence Training
About the Author
Craig Ballantyne is a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist and writes for Men's Health, Men's Fitness, Maximum Fitness, Muscle and Fitness Hers, and Oxygen magazines. His trademarked Turbulence Training fat loss workouts have been featured multiple times in Men’s Fitness and Maximum Fitness magazines, and have helped thousands of men and women around the world lose fat, gain muscle, and get lean in less than 45 minutes three times per week. For more information on the Turbulence Training workouts that will help you burn fat without long, slow cardio sessions or fancy equipment, visit www.TurbulenceTraining.com
Turbulence Training Review
By Alan Gifford
Word count: 1028
Related keywords: turbulence training review, fat burning workout, lose fat, fat loss exercises
Review of Turbulence Training: The Program that Promises Maximum Fat Loss in Minimum Workout Time
Turbulence Training promises fast fat loss results for men and women who don't have a lot of time for exercise. This is a bold promise, and the workouts promise maximum results in only three workouts per week.
Let's take a look at this claim, and see if it really measures up!
Before we get to the program, let's take a look at the expert behind the workouts. I've come across Craig Ballantyne's name many times in popular fitness magazines such as Men's Health and Men's Fitness, and even in Oxygen and Shape magazines. So the program is clearly put together by a trusted fitness expert.
I've also talked to Craig about his training and education background, and I'll be honest, it was impressive, unlike the trainers with weekend certifications that pop up at large commercial gyms. Craig's experience goes back to the mid-nineties, in both the gym and in the research lab. He's actually led research trials on sport supplements, strength training, and cardiovascular training.
Plus, Craig has been a strength coach and has worked with hundreds of clients in thousands of training sessions. This is a unique, and thorough background, so its not surprising he's come up with a new training system for fat loss.
In fact, Craig's articles are always pretty hard on traditional aerobic cardio workouts. So if you're looking for new ways to spend 30 or 60-minutes doing cardio, then this program is not for you. But if you only have 45 minutes to workout, a couple of times per week, and you have access to only a bench, dumbells, and an exercise ball, then you'll like what Craig has for you here.
Now one of the biggest questions about the program is simply, "What is Turbulence Training?" Well according to Craig, its the combination of resistance training and interval training used to boost your metabolism so that your body burns calories and fat between workouts. He says, "Cardio doesn't boost your metabolism after exercise. Only strength training and interval training do that - while you work, sleep, and eat - your body will be shedding fat."
Fortunately, Craig's unique system of bodyweight exercises, dumbell exercises, and interval training can all be done at home, with minimal equipment (if you are really strong, it might help to have a chinup bar). So again, if you are one of those people who loves machines, or cardio equipment, or marathon workouts, then this program is not for you.
Frankly, I've used the program myself and recommended to many others. Why? Because no one has time for long workouts! That's why. After an eight or ten hour workday, a round-trip commute of 90 minutes, and spending time with my family, I just don't have time to do another 90 minute workout every day of the week.
In fact, I either get up early and do the workout before work, or I do it just before bed. This workout is perfect for busy men and women. But its not the type of routine that is going to turn anyone into a pro bodybuilder. If you want maximum muscle and want to bulk up, try another one of Craig's programs. But the Turbulence Training system is best for burning fat without sacrificing muscle - so you end up lean, defined, chiseled and toned.
And its fun! So many workouts are boring (i.e. long cardio) or repetitive (i.e. doing the same bodybuilding workout over and over again). But Turbulence Training uses a lot of unique (but not fluffy) exercises, including some cool, killer bodyweight moves that will make you more athletic and increase your functional and core strength - again, all with minimal equipment needs.
But, I am even able to recommend this program to friends who are just starting out, because Craig has put together a 6-week introductory program, and a 4-week intermediate program in addition to the 16-week advanced training phase (PLUS, the Turbulence Training program comes with a massive amount of bonus workouts for muscle building, bodyweight only, advanced fat loss, and even a female specific bonus).
But each workout progresses into the next. He's used all of these workouts with hundreds of clients - so they are safe and effective. Sure, you can get other programs that leave you smashed and puking after the first workout, but Turbulence Training is not like that. Soreness doesn't matter, only results matter! And you are in expert hands with Turbulence Training, and Men's Health expert, Craig Ballantyne.
Craig's Turbulence Training also contains a contract -- basically, your pledge to being committed to the program. It also includes an ebook on Nutrition Guidelines from expert, Dr. Chris Mohr, Ph.D., and an extensive Q&A section, a 21-Healthy Habit Building Plan, plus the complete Turbulence Training workouts for beginner, intermediate and advanced level individuals.
All users will benefit from the Turbulence Training MP3 audio where Craig goes over the program, plus you can find every single exercise explained in detail, complete with photos.
Okay, so bottom line. Turbulence Training is NOT....
Long, slow cardio workouts
A machine-based exercise circuit
A bodybuilding program to gain bulk
A workout with lots of time-wasting isolation exercises
A restrictive eating plan
Turbulence Training provides NONE of the above. On the other hand, Turbulence Training is perfect for busy men and women who want to burn fat in the comfort of their own homes without spending a lot of money on equipment or space on exercise machines. Oh, and you'll actually have fun and you won't "dread" these workouts - heck, they will be over before you know it!
If you're in the slightest bit curious, I recommend you look closely at Craig's program. I was very impressed with all of the Turbulence Training workouts, the bonuses, the guarantee, and Craig's expertise. For the money, it's the best deal in the fitness and fat loss industry - so much better than diet pills! And remember...
Craig Ballantyne's Turbulence Training is backed by a 8-week money back guarantee. And this is a real guarantee... if you are not completely satisfied, you will receive your money back, no "ifs," "ands," or "buts." So you really have nothing to lose.
Word count: 1028
Related keywords: turbulence training review, fat burning workout, lose fat, fat loss exercises
Review of Turbulence Training: The Program that Promises Maximum Fat Loss in Minimum Workout Time
Turbulence Training promises fast fat loss results for men and women who don't have a lot of time for exercise. This is a bold promise, and the workouts promise maximum results in only three workouts per week.
Let's take a look at this claim, and see if it really measures up!
Before we get to the program, let's take a look at the expert behind the workouts. I've come across Craig Ballantyne's name many times in popular fitness magazines such as Men's Health and Men's Fitness, and even in Oxygen and Shape magazines. So the program is clearly put together by a trusted fitness expert.
I've also talked to Craig about his training and education background, and I'll be honest, it was impressive, unlike the trainers with weekend certifications that pop up at large commercial gyms. Craig's experience goes back to the mid-nineties, in both the gym and in the research lab. He's actually led research trials on sport supplements, strength training, and cardiovascular training.
Plus, Craig has been a strength coach and has worked with hundreds of clients in thousands of training sessions. This is a unique, and thorough background, so its not surprising he's come up with a new training system for fat loss.
In fact, Craig's articles are always pretty hard on traditional aerobic cardio workouts. So if you're looking for new ways to spend 30 or 60-minutes doing cardio, then this program is not for you. But if you only have 45 minutes to workout, a couple of times per week, and you have access to only a bench, dumbells, and an exercise ball, then you'll like what Craig has for you here.
Now one of the biggest questions about the program is simply, "What is Turbulence Training?" Well according to Craig, its the combination of resistance training and interval training used to boost your metabolism so that your body burns calories and fat between workouts. He says, "Cardio doesn't boost your metabolism after exercise. Only strength training and interval training do that - while you work, sleep, and eat - your body will be shedding fat."
Fortunately, Craig's unique system of bodyweight exercises, dumbell exercises, and interval training can all be done at home, with minimal equipment (if you are really strong, it might help to have a chinup bar). So again, if you are one of those people who loves machines, or cardio equipment, or marathon workouts, then this program is not for you.
Frankly, I've used the program myself and recommended to many others. Why? Because no one has time for long workouts! That's why. After an eight or ten hour workday, a round-trip commute of 90 minutes, and spending time with my family, I just don't have time to do another 90 minute workout every day of the week.
In fact, I either get up early and do the workout before work, or I do it just before bed. This workout is perfect for busy men and women. But its not the type of routine that is going to turn anyone into a pro bodybuilder. If you want maximum muscle and want to bulk up, try another one of Craig's programs. But the Turbulence Training system is best for burning fat without sacrificing muscle - so you end up lean, defined, chiseled and toned.
And its fun! So many workouts are boring (i.e. long cardio) or repetitive (i.e. doing the same bodybuilding workout over and over again). But Turbulence Training uses a lot of unique (but not fluffy) exercises, including some cool, killer bodyweight moves that will make you more athletic and increase your functional and core strength - again, all with minimal equipment needs.
But, I am even able to recommend this program to friends who are just starting out, because Craig has put together a 6-week introductory program, and a 4-week intermediate program in addition to the 16-week advanced training phase (PLUS, the Turbulence Training program comes with a massive amount of bonus workouts for muscle building, bodyweight only, advanced fat loss, and even a female specific bonus).
But each workout progresses into the next. He's used all of these workouts with hundreds of clients - so they are safe and effective. Sure, you can get other programs that leave you smashed and puking after the first workout, but Turbulence Training is not like that. Soreness doesn't matter, only results matter! And you are in expert hands with Turbulence Training, and Men's Health expert, Craig Ballantyne.
Craig's Turbulence Training also contains a contract -- basically, your pledge to being committed to the program. It also includes an ebook on Nutrition Guidelines from expert, Dr. Chris Mohr, Ph.D., and an extensive Q&A section, a 21-Healthy Habit Building Plan, plus the complete Turbulence Training workouts for beginner, intermediate and advanced level individuals.
All users will benefit from the Turbulence Training MP3 audio where Craig goes over the program, plus you can find every single exercise explained in detail, complete with photos.
Okay, so bottom line. Turbulence Training is NOT....
Long, slow cardio workouts
A machine-based exercise circuit
A bodybuilding program to gain bulk
A workout with lots of time-wasting isolation exercises
A restrictive eating plan
Turbulence Training provides NONE of the above. On the other hand, Turbulence Training is perfect for busy men and women who want to burn fat in the comfort of their own homes without spending a lot of money on equipment or space on exercise machines. Oh, and you'll actually have fun and you won't "dread" these workouts - heck, they will be over before you know it!
If you're in the slightest bit curious, I recommend you look closely at Craig's program. I was very impressed with all of the Turbulence Training workouts, the bonuses, the guarantee, and Craig's expertise. For the money, it's the best deal in the fitness and fat loss industry - so much better than diet pills! And remember...
Craig Ballantyne's Turbulence Training is backed by a 8-week money back guarantee. And this is a real guarantee... if you are not completely satisfied, you will receive your money back, no "ifs," "ands," or "buts." So you really have nothing to lose.
Friday, September 28, 2007
How to Fight Cravings and Win
Think back to high school biology and you'll probably have a memory buried somewhere of a Russian researcher named Ivan Pavlov. Pavlov, you may recall, repeatedly rang a dinner bell right before feeding his dogs a big, juicy steak. Eventually, the dogs would salivate at the sound of the bell. Pavlov had trained his dogs to have a physiological response to a neutral stimulus - a bell - simply because the bell was associated with food.Think about that the next time you're at the movies and pass the popcorn stand.Our brains are wired in much the same way as the brains of Pavlov's dogs. We associate all sorts of things with food - from a holiday celebration to a fight with our spouse. Food nourishes us - but it also comforts us, soothes us and even medicates us when we're feeling anxious, lonely or tired. And it helps us celebrate when we're feeling happy. Put that together with the fact that obscene amounts of food are everywhere and you have a perfect recipe for eating disorders and mass obesity.But just as we were conditioned to associate food - and overeating - with all sorts of things, we can undo that conditioning. It's not easy - but it's also not as hard as you might think. And it generally takes no more than 21 days.Our overeating triggers are actually chains of events - like Christmas tree lights that go on in sequence. A stressful argument leads to feeling helpless which leads to a journey into the kitchen which leads to ten packs of ring-dings. Usually the chain of events is faster and shorter - think of feeling stress and immediately reaching for a cigarette.So here's the trick: short circuit the chain. Break the circuit and the remaining lights don't fire up. You can accomplish the same thing with your overeating triggers.First, isolate exactly what your five biggest triggers are. (Write them down.)Now comes the part where you put a "chink in the link". You're going to substitute a new activity for the destructive activity (much like an addict learns to go to the gym and get "high" from running). Try any one of these simple activities next time you hit one of your triggers:
Brush your teeth
Eat a pickle (eating something completely different from what you're craving tricks the brain and kills the craving - try eating a hot pepper when you're craving chocolate and you'll instantly see what I mean)
Reward yourself with a relaxing activity you normally wouldn't do - i.e. a warm bath or uninterrupted reading of glossy magazines!
Go for a walk (the endorphins released will often balance the chemistry of a craving brain)
Write down what you're feeling. Try "being" with that feeling for five minutes.Most cravings (and overeating triggers) only last 15 minutes. If you can outwait - or outwit - them, you can beat them. Tell yourself "I can have this food" (thus eliminating thoughts of deprivation) but "I have to wait just 15 minutes".You'll be amazed (and happily surprised) at how differently you'll feel a quarter hour later.
Brush your teeth
Eat a pickle (eating something completely different from what you're craving tricks the brain and kills the craving - try eating a hot pepper when you're craving chocolate and you'll instantly see what I mean)
Reward yourself with a relaxing activity you normally wouldn't do - i.e. a warm bath or uninterrupted reading of glossy magazines!
Go for a walk (the endorphins released will often balance the chemistry of a craving brain)
Write down what you're feeling. Try "being" with that feeling for five minutes.Most cravings (and overeating triggers) only last 15 minutes. If you can outwait - or outwit - them, you can beat them. Tell yourself "I can have this food" (thus eliminating thoughts of deprivation) but "I have to wait just 15 minutes".You'll be amazed (and happily surprised) at how differently you'll feel a quarter hour later.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
How to describe"Britishness"
There is an old joke which, like all jokes, only works if delivered with a straight face and solemnity: “To be born an Englishman is to win first prize in the race of life.”
Anyhow, I know many of you are not in line for the first prize, and have better things to think about than the fact that English is not the same as British, and that our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown is Scottish, like his predecessor, Bliar, and many of his cabinet. Cameron is a Scottish name for that matter
Gordon Brown is no fool – he is running rings round Cameron - and to take the eye off his Scottish origins he has launched a campaign about "Britishness", the latest manifestation of which is a contest to come up with a phrase or word which describes being British.
To this end I believe he has set up a panel of 1,000 useful idiots, making it into the sort of contest they have on the back of cereal boxes.
You may well wonder why describing what it means to be British matters more than determining whether we stay British by being allowed to vote on whether we should willy-nilly accept the carefully disguised new European Constitution.
But, ever a concerned citizen, even though I have not been asked, I feel it my patriotic duty to help in the task of defining ourselves.
This country is a very popular holiday (and work) destination, so even if you are not British you may like to know what to expect when you get here. What are the words or phrases that encapsulate our national charms today?
I have examined what seems to characterise us most, and come up with a list of plausible candidates. This was no casual study. I did so by dint of by walking around the streets, reading the paper, listening to radio and watching, as little as possible, TV.
Finding just one phrase or word that describes us is not easy, as we have so many obvious qualities, but “Illiterate” instantly springs to mind. Even people with university degrees can rarely write English nowadays, as I know from reading far too many badly-written reports and letters asking for jobs.
“Obese” gets my vote, too. We dare not yet challenge the good citizens of, say, Houston, Texas, but in Europe only the Germans carry, on average, more wobbling flab than we now do.
“Noisy, drunken, tattooed and violent” is clearly a fitting phrase, as time in the hospital casualty department in any large town on a Saturday night will demonstrate. “Druggies” has a claim as well. If late at night you aren’t offered drugs nowadays, complain to someone – maybe the overpaid time-wasters at the Equal Opportunities Commission - because you’re being discriminated against.
How about “Pregnant at 15 - again”? Statistics show we are clear winners in that contest. Or perhaps “Idle”? The number of clearly able-bodied beggars you see on the streets is quite astounding. They do well too. I recently saw a black man who works from a bench in the King’s Road buying shoes in a shop nearby that’s far too expensive for me.
On top of that, an amazing number of people are paid to be unemployed or have jobs in the public sector that involve so little real effort they might just as well be. Thank God there are shoals of Poles and others who grapple with the hard graft.
I have to say, too, that “Mawkishly sentimental” has good claims. If you don’t believe me wait till you try to avoid being drowned by the tidal wave of slop that gushes out whenever the words “Princess Diana” are dragged out for another airing in the media.
It’s a tricky one, isn’t it? On balance, maybe “Gullible” gets my vote if we all fall for Gordon’s latest little ploy. But you do have to take your hat off to him. How many people could guide a country from massive surplus into massive debt in ten years and still be seen as a brilliant economic manager?
Now after that little bit of fun, before you all get carried away and imagine I’m just a miserable old git, I’ll come clean. I sometimes think all these qualities are counterbalanced by others like imagination, an unusual degree of tolerance, humour and a sense of fun, a belief in fairness, good restaurants serving almost any cuisine except our own, unusual skill at losing almost all sporting contests gracefully – and so on.
I also think that we have benefited hugely from all the people around who are not English.
A Few World Class Groaners!
I love puns and word-games,
These are really and truly AWFUL and I love them! Enjoy:
Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Eclipse \i-klips'\: What an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes \hee'-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.
Left Bank \left' bangk'\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Paradox \par'-u-doks\: Two physicians.
Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.
Primate \pri'-mat\: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
Relief \ree-leef'\: What trees do in the spring
Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: What you do to relax your wife.
Seamstress \seem'-stres\: Describes 14 stone in a size 8.
Selfish \sel'-fish\: What the owner of a seafood store does.
Subdued \sub-dood'\: A guy that works on one of those submarines.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* Police were called to a daycare, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
* Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He is all right now.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* A thief fell in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
* We'll never run out of math teachers, because they always multiply.
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
* The geologist discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog its memory.
* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
* A backward poet writes inverse.
* With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
* A calendar's days are numbered.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Anyhow, I know many of you are not in line for the first prize, and have better things to think about than the fact that English is not the same as British, and that our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown is Scottish, like his predecessor, Bliar, and many of his cabinet. Cameron is a Scottish name for that matter
Gordon Brown is no fool – he is running rings round Cameron - and to take the eye off his Scottish origins he has launched a campaign about "Britishness", the latest manifestation of which is a contest to come up with a phrase or word which describes being British.
To this end I believe he has set up a panel of 1,000 useful idiots, making it into the sort of contest they have on the back of cereal boxes.
You may well wonder why describing what it means to be British matters more than determining whether we stay British by being allowed to vote on whether we should willy-nilly accept the carefully disguised new European Constitution.
But, ever a concerned citizen, even though I have not been asked, I feel it my patriotic duty to help in the task of defining ourselves.
This country is a very popular holiday (and work) destination, so even if you are not British you may like to know what to expect when you get here. What are the words or phrases that encapsulate our national charms today?
I have examined what seems to characterise us most, and come up with a list of plausible candidates. This was no casual study. I did so by dint of by walking around the streets, reading the paper, listening to radio and watching, as little as possible, TV.
Finding just one phrase or word that describes us is not easy, as we have so many obvious qualities, but “Illiterate” instantly springs to mind. Even people with university degrees can rarely write English nowadays, as I know from reading far too many badly-written reports and letters asking for jobs.
“Obese” gets my vote, too. We dare not yet challenge the good citizens of, say, Houston, Texas, but in Europe only the Germans carry, on average, more wobbling flab than we now do.
“Noisy, drunken, tattooed and violent” is clearly a fitting phrase, as time in the hospital casualty department in any large town on a Saturday night will demonstrate. “Druggies” has a claim as well. If late at night you aren’t offered drugs nowadays, complain to someone – maybe the overpaid time-wasters at the Equal Opportunities Commission - because you’re being discriminated against.
How about “Pregnant at 15 - again”? Statistics show we are clear winners in that contest. Or perhaps “Idle”? The number of clearly able-bodied beggars you see on the streets is quite astounding. They do well too. I recently saw a black man who works from a bench in the King’s Road buying shoes in a shop nearby that’s far too expensive for me.
On top of that, an amazing number of people are paid to be unemployed or have jobs in the public sector that involve so little real effort they might just as well be. Thank God there are shoals of Poles and others who grapple with the hard graft.
I have to say, too, that “Mawkishly sentimental” has good claims. If you don’t believe me wait till you try to avoid being drowned by the tidal wave of slop that gushes out whenever the words “Princess Diana” are dragged out for another airing in the media.
It’s a tricky one, isn’t it? On balance, maybe “Gullible” gets my vote if we all fall for Gordon’s latest little ploy. But you do have to take your hat off to him. How many people could guide a country from massive surplus into massive debt in ten years and still be seen as a brilliant economic manager?
Now after that little bit of fun, before you all get carried away and imagine I’m just a miserable old git, I’ll come clean. I sometimes think all these qualities are counterbalanced by others like imagination, an unusual degree of tolerance, humour and a sense of fun, a belief in fairness, good restaurants serving almost any cuisine except our own, unusual skill at losing almost all sporting contests gracefully – and so on.
I also think that we have benefited hugely from all the people around who are not English.
A Few World Class Groaners!
I love puns and word-games,
These are really and truly AWFUL and I love them! Enjoy:
Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Eclipse \i-klips'\: What an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes \hee'-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.
Left Bank \left' bangk'\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Paradox \par'-u-doks\: Two physicians.
Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.
Primate \pri'-mat\: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
Relief \ree-leef'\: What trees do in the spring
Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: What you do to relax your wife.
Seamstress \seem'-stres\: Describes 14 stone in a size 8.
Selfish \sel'-fish\: What the owner of a seafood store does.
Subdued \sub-dood'\: A guy that works on one of those submarines.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* Police were called to a daycare, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
* Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He is all right now.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* A thief fell in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
* We'll never run out of math teachers, because they always multiply.
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
* The geologist discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog its memory.
* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
* A backward poet writes inverse.
* With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
* A calendar's days are numbered.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
And Then He Made Women
My friend forwarded this, it touched me and I had to pass it along. I hope you'll enjoy it, and pass it along to your friends, as well.
By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, be able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded. "Only two hands!? No way! That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
But the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation and it's so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."
And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their heart breaks when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail to show how much they care about you. The heart of woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
If you are a woman, I hope I've reminded you. If you are a man, pass this along to the women you love.
By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, be able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded. "Only two hands!? No way! That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
But the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation and it's so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."
And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their heart breaks when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail to show how much they care about you. The heart of woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
If you are a woman, I hope I've reminded you. If you are a man, pass this along to the women you love.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Questions that i ponder on!
1. If you spin an oriental man in a circle does he become disoriented?
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
4. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
7. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it a hostage situation?
8. Is there another word for synonym?
9. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
10. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
11. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
12. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
13. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
14. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
15. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
16. Why do they put Braille on drive-through bank machines?
17. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
18. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
19. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
20. How is it possible to have a civil war?
21. If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
22. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
23. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
24. Whose idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "S" in it?
25. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
26. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
27. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
28. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
4. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
7. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it a hostage situation?
8. Is there another word for synonym?
9. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
10. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
11. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
12. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
13. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
14. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
15. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
16. Why do they put Braille on drive-through bank machines?
17. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
18. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
19. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
20. How is it possible to have a civil war?
21. If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
22. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
23. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
24. Whose idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "S" in it?
25. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
26. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
27. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
28. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
More Job Centre woe
I had my jobseekers allowance interview on Tuesday.What a performance! I filled in 49 pages of intrusive questions about myself and my wife and our financial status, good job I wasn`t claiming council tax benefit as that was @ another 47 pages of questions.Inside leg measurement, religous disposition and are you a member of a recognized terrorist group??? I had started a new job as well, due to a bit of networking and calling people who I had worked with in the past. My boss was great, he understood my position,as it`s been @ 6 weeks since I`ve been paid, and due to my previous employers financial difficulties I only recieved 2 weeks wages.I`m almost as good as Jesus, he had a loaf and five fishes to feed the five thousand, I had 2weeks wages to feed and clothe a 16 year old eating machine and fashion victim-no contest.
( I wouldn`t mind but my son eats constantly,drinks pints of milk a day and never puts anyweight on,lucky git has got his mothers genes in that respect. I only have to look at a cream cake and I have to let my trousers out at the waist!!)
I digress, my appointment letter ordered me to arrive at my interview 10 minutes early, so I duly arrived at the Job Centre, nothing had changed- except the rats were a little fatter due to all the bait they had eaten. There was a bit of a rush on a the time ,as a couple of local companies had gone bust, so there were @ 30people milling around behind the counter, 2 pigs on the counter as air freshners, and 2 receptionists who couldn`t care less if they tried.There was also a securty guard there by the desk, probably ensuring that the receptionsts didn`t do a runner.I managed to atrract their attention, gave my name, and was told due to staff shortages, my interview would be running late- “Is that all right?” I was tempted to say “yes fine”, but I was losing money by being there, so I explained that it was my first day in a new job-
”Oh is that one you got from here?”
Yeah dream on sister!
She then asked if I had my forms, so I hitched up my weight lifting belt and pulled them out of my bag,- ever likely the rainforests are shrinking-She took them off me and tossed them behind her and told me to take a seat. Where to I didn`t ask.
After a while I asked one of the girls milling about how long she`d worked there? “3 months “ came the reply- so it wasn`t her who took my forms then! I was clean shaven when I went in, I had a 5o`clock shadow by the time my name was called.
I was led into another office and the guy behind the desk went through the set questions, whilst going through the forms. Every so often he would get up, excuse himself then leave the office. I thought he had a weak bladder, then I realised he was photcopying various parts of my application. I was then informed that he would go through my return to work plan, despite me informing him that I had started another job that very same day.
“Do you have a CV?”
“No I drive a Renault Megane”
“Are you prepared to work full time?”
“I already am”
“Are you prepared to travel to find work?”
“No ,as I already have a job”
After loads more questions, he told me I was entitled to 1weeks jobseekers allowance, less 3 waiting days, so the grand total would be £32.56.
I was ecstatic!! but the best was yet to come- there was a delay of at least 3weeks before I get paid, staff shortages you see.
I asked what I was supposed to live on in the meantime and was told I wouldn`t qualify for a crisis loan as my partner was working.
I was glad to get out and get back to work
As a foot note, my brother, who had been in the same situation-ie laid off due to his boss being insolvent-gave me a number to call that is a government scheme to compensate workers in that situation. It`s capped to a certain level,but they sent me the forms to fill in the very next day, and in most cases they pay you within 4weeks.
I guess the lesson in this is that God helps those who help themselves.
( I wouldn`t mind but my son eats constantly,drinks pints of milk a day and never puts anyweight on,lucky git has got his mothers genes in that respect. I only have to look at a cream cake and I have to let my trousers out at the waist!!)
I digress, my appointment letter ordered me to arrive at my interview 10 minutes early, so I duly arrived at the Job Centre, nothing had changed- except the rats were a little fatter due to all the bait they had eaten. There was a bit of a rush on a the time ,as a couple of local companies had gone bust, so there were @ 30people milling around behind the counter, 2 pigs on the counter as air freshners, and 2 receptionists who couldn`t care less if they tried.There was also a securty guard there by the desk, probably ensuring that the receptionsts didn`t do a runner.I managed to atrract their attention, gave my name, and was told due to staff shortages, my interview would be running late- “Is that all right?” I was tempted to say “yes fine”, but I was losing money by being there, so I explained that it was my first day in a new job-
”Oh is that one you got from here?”
Yeah dream on sister!
She then asked if I had my forms, so I hitched up my weight lifting belt and pulled them out of my bag,- ever likely the rainforests are shrinking-She took them off me and tossed them behind her and told me to take a seat. Where to I didn`t ask.
After a while I asked one of the girls milling about how long she`d worked there? “3 months “ came the reply- so it wasn`t her who took my forms then! I was clean shaven when I went in, I had a 5o`clock shadow by the time my name was called.
I was led into another office and the guy behind the desk went through the set questions, whilst going through the forms. Every so often he would get up, excuse himself then leave the office. I thought he had a weak bladder, then I realised he was photcopying various parts of my application. I was then informed that he would go through my return to work plan, despite me informing him that I had started another job that very same day.
“Do you have a CV?”
“No I drive a Renault Megane”
“Are you prepared to work full time?”
“I already am”
“Are you prepared to travel to find work?”
“No ,as I already have a job”
After loads more questions, he told me I was entitled to 1weeks jobseekers allowance, less 3 waiting days, so the grand total would be £32.56.
I was ecstatic!! but the best was yet to come- there was a delay of at least 3weeks before I get paid, staff shortages you see.
I asked what I was supposed to live on in the meantime and was told I wouldn`t qualify for a crisis loan as my partner was working.
I was glad to get out and get back to work
As a foot note, my brother, who had been in the same situation-ie laid off due to his boss being insolvent-gave me a number to call that is a government scheme to compensate workers in that situation. It`s capped to a certain level,but they sent me the forms to fill in the very next day, and in most cases they pay you within 4weeks.
I guess the lesson in this is that God helps those who help themselves.
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