More Job Centre woe

I had my jobseekers allowance interview on Tuesday.What a performance! I filled in 49 pages of intrusive questions about myself and my wife and our financial status, good job I wasn`t claiming council tax benefit as that was @ another 47 pages of questions.Inside leg measurement, religous disposition and are you a member of a recognized terrorist group??? I had started a new job as well, due to a bit of networking and calling people who I had worked with in the past. My boss was great, he understood my position,as it`s been @ 6 weeks since I`ve been paid, and due to my previous employers financial difficulties I only recieved 2 weeks wages.I`m almost as good as Jesus, he had a loaf and five fishes to feed the five thousand, I had 2weeks wages to feed and clothe a 16 year old eating machine and fashion victim-no contest.
( I wouldn`t mind but my son eats constantly,drinks pints of milk a day and never puts anyweight on,lucky git has got his mothers genes in that respect. I only have to look at a cream cake and I have to let my trousers out at the waist!!)

I digress, my appointment letter ordered me to arrive at my interview 10 minutes early, so I duly arrived at the Job Centre, nothing had changed- except the rats were a little fatter due to all the bait they had eaten. There was a bit of a rush on a the time ,as a couple of local companies had gone bust, so there were @ 30people milling around behind the counter, 2 pigs on the counter as air freshners, and 2 receptionists who couldn`t care less if they tried.There was also a securty guard there by the desk, probably ensuring that the receptionsts didn`t do a runner.I managed to atrract their attention, gave my name, and was told due to staff shortages, my interview would be running late- “Is that all right?” I was tempted to say “yes fine”, but I was losing money by being there, so I explained that it was my first day in a new job-
”Oh is that one you got from here?”
Yeah dream on sister!
She then asked if I had my forms, so I hitched up my weight lifting belt and pulled them out of my bag,- ever likely the rainforests are shrinking-She took them off me and tossed them behind her and told me to take a seat. Where to I didn`t ask.
After a while I asked one of the girls milling about how long she`d worked there? “3 months “ came the reply- so it wasn`t her who took my forms then! I was clean shaven when I went in, I had a 5o`clock shadow by the time my name was called.
I was led into another office and the guy behind the desk went through the set questions, whilst going through the forms. Every so often he would get up, excuse himself then leave the office. I thought he had a weak bladder, then I realised he was photcopying various parts of my application. I was then informed that he would go through my return to work plan, despite me informing him that I had started another job that very same day.
“Do you have a CV?”
“No I drive a Renault Megane”
“Are you prepared to work full time?”
“I already am”
“Are you prepared to travel to find work?”
“No ,as I already have a job”
After loads more questions, he told me I was entitled to 1weeks jobseekers allowance, less 3 waiting days, so the grand total would be £32.56.
I was ecstatic!! but the best was yet to come- there was a delay of at least 3weeks before I get paid, staff shortages you see.
I asked what I was supposed to live on in the meantime and was told I wouldn`t qualify for a crisis loan as my partner was working.
I was glad to get out and get back to work
As a foot note, my brother, who had been in the same situation-ie laid off due to his boss being insolvent-gave me a number to call that is a government scheme to compensate workers in that situation. It`s capped to a certain level,but they sent me the forms to fill in the very next day, and in most cases they pay you within 4weeks.
I guess the lesson in this is that God helps those who help themselves.